True Love
by Im-just-another-one
Summary: Two sisters who will need to come to terms with what their love for each other really means.
1. It's Not All Gone

Disclaimer!

This story will eventually (as in future episodes) feature an incestuous relationship between two adult women. If this is something that you at the very least dislikes, I don't think this is for you. I don't condone incest in any way, but I think it's something I personally find interesting to work with, in fiction.

Don't expect things to go too fast, I plan it to take at least a few episodes for anything romantic to happen between the two sisters.

I don't hold any right over the characters, all rights reserved to the Disney Company.

And one last thing, English isn't my mother language, so you make of that what you will.

True love

After a quite long day of ice skating and prince banishing I say my good byes to the few citizens that are now leaving through the gates. As they make their way to the other side of the bridge, I walk to the opposite direction and it doesn't take long for two guards to start following me.

As I walk through the double doors of the main entrance I see in the distance my younger sister talking to Christof, by the little I handle to decode it seams as she is telling him what unfolded earlier today and how only now she realizes how convenient it is that a carrot can double as a master key. I laugh to myself as I walk up the stairs making a mental note to ask about that story later.

I walk up to the door I've last seen a few days ago, the doors of the Royal chamber, the last time I've entered them I was a very different person. Just thinking of that makes me feel things I don't want to acknowledge, after all, there is no point anymore, though a small sigh couldn't pass unnoticed.

"Please, you may go" I tell the guards, not looking at neither of them and they leave before long.

Inside the room I undress and put on a rather short sleeping gown and sit on the bed. Looking to the wall I see the painting of my father, for a few moments I forgot what it meant for me being back, I have my sister and a kingdom to take care of. I sigh out of tiredness more than anything else. I lay on the bed and feel the blanked rub against my skin as I pull it over me, the thought that I would be missing on this if I still were to be in the ice palace amuses me for a second.

Many moments pass and I can't succumb to the sleepiness. My head restless, thinking of what had unfolded, such as the lengths Anna went to come to me. This thought makes my heart heavy for a moment and I frown as it doesn't take long for the temperature deep to be noticed.

Sitting up to clear my mind shows to not be enough. I walk out the doors, doing my best not to be noticed by the guards, after all I don't want unnecessary attention. As I stroll across the halls making my way to my old bedroom I look out the windows and contemplate how peaceful everything looks. I don't want to question my ability to keep my kingdom safe, but … what I've made them endure …

I finally reach the door to my room.

"So … this is how the outside if the door looks like, huh?!" I say to myself almost inaudibly, at the same time redirecting my thoughts.

It saddens me to think how many hours Anna must have stared at this very sight only wishing to see me and all I did was to pray for her not to hate me for not giving in to my very own wishes of seeing her.

I shake my head as if it would shake the thoughts off my mind. Not as satisfactory as I would have hoped, but it'll have to do. Though I start to question my intentions for coming here. My hand goes for the handle almost instinctively but right before I could touch it the door swings open. On the other, holding firmly the handle was an angry looking Anna, but angry in a comedic way, almost childlike, with her cheeks puffed up and all. It warms my heart to see her. She was looking off to the side as if arguing to herself in her head so It took her half a second to notice me. But when she did she made it known with a squeal.

"Ah!" Anna's scream is all that can be hear amidst the quietness of the night. Her smile make me smile back.

"Anna, what are you doing here?" my tone is one of kidding unbelievability.

"What are _you_ doing outside your room this late?" here face and voice combining in the matching of slight tone anger and interrogation.

"Well, I would ask you the same question if I hadn't just done that" my eyes and tone taunting her.

"Oh, well ..."

Before she could respond a guard runs towards the scream he obviously heard. As he stops at the corner of the hall he turns he's face away and asks:

"Is … hm … everything okay, your majesty?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's just me and the princess …" I start to realize he is embarrassed by the amount of skin the gown I am wearing shows. I start to talk slower and slower as my embarrassment speeds up.

"It's just us having some sisterly time, so you may be on your way" Anna says as she pulls me into the room right before I could make an ice dress or something "what a weird chat that was" she says after closing the door behind her.

I look around the relatively empty room, it's been so long since Anna has last been here, thirteen years to be more precise. Before my mind drifts away I break the short silence that was created.

"So, why were you in my … our old room?" it sounded a little awkward the first time.

"I came to see you, to surprise you, actually, but you weren't here, so I thought 'well, she must've gone to the bathroom or something, so I'll wait a few minutes' but didn't … wait, _old_ room?"

"Yeah, I mean …" I say as o walk toward my old bed to sit on it "I am the queen, so I should sleep in the royal chamber" Anna listens as she follows my path and we sit, almost, simultaneously, Anna being to my left. We look at each other dearly.

"Oh, I see … I should've thought of that" she looks away and laughs to herself for a moment as if lightly mocking herself.

The silence is back, but not for long, and I have anna to thank for that. She turns to me once again.

"So, it looks kinda nice, this side of the door, I mean …" she frowns to herself as if questioning her ability to start a conversation.

"Ha ha" I can't help but to laugh a little and it doesn't take long for her to follow suit. The sound of her laugh being … comforting in a way.

"I mean, it's spacious and there is also a great view" she says amidst laughs as they slowly cease.

"I'd prefer being with you on the other side, though" we were looking at each other so far but now, as our eyes meet … it's a bit awkward, as if I could see in her eyes the fun of the moment being wiped away by my words "I … I'm sorry" I can't stand looking at her face now, the shame in my heart making my eyes seek the floor.

"F-for what?" it doesn't take long for her to ask that as she moves closer. I guess I didn't hide my expression of guilt as well as I thought I did. As she inches closer her hand would touch mine if it wasn't for the thin blanket folding between them, but it's still enough to feel her warmth. I can feel the breathing against my shoulder and her eyes seeking mine.

"You've been through so much to get to me …" it takes me a few moments to manage to not burst in tears "I mean, if I had been a better sister to you … all of what happened …"

The air gets noticeably colder before I get to control myself. The shame that earlier made me face the floor now makes me face the wall to my right, making me turn my back to Anna, it saddens me that I had to let go of her hand to do so.

"E … Elsa …" Anna stutters for a second and before long hugs me from behind. It takes me as a surprise, my eyes widen as I process what has happened, her head on the top of my back, the warmth of her face being overshadowed by the coolness of her tears "it's alright, we don't need to talk about this, all that matters now is that we here, together" she sobs "right?"

"Anna …" my voice full of appreciation. I embrace her arms with mine, at least the little I can grasp of them.

Time seemingly stopped for a moment, the only evidence of it moving are the light, merely audible, sobs coming from the both of us and the apparent warming up of the room. I mean, 'love will thaw', right? Her embrace is almost too good and comforting.

"Anna, do you …" I gently, unwantedly unwrap myself from between her arms, just so I could face her. She looks puzzled at me as she dries her face with her wrists. Frozen tear strings on my cheeks are way too noticeable for me to be comfortable, but that doesn't matter now. I look deep down in her eyes for a moment before I close mine for half a second, a couple of liquid tears drop from them. I lean my head to the side and smile "do you wanna build a snowman?"

I think she didn't expect that, but her subsequent short laugh and smile eases my mind. Her smile widens a bit more as she closes her eyes and a couple of tears stroll down her face, pacing over her freckles.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes" she keeps saying as she throws herself onto me. We fall on the bed, all I can do is hug her back and close my eyes. The side of out wet faces touching, but that doesn't upset me, neither does the set of red covering my face. It's kind of relaxing in a way, to talk, see, interact with my sister, feel her next to me, things I haven't felt in years. Quite a day it was, Huh?!

"I love you, Anna" the words scape my mouth, but it's not like they weren't true, anyway.

"I love you, too, Elsa" she says, her voice full of happiness, before tightening her grip on me just a little and then letting go so she could support herself on her arms and stay hovering over me.

I open my eyes and look up to see her fluttered smiling face surrounded by her fiery red hair under the blueish tint coming from the night sky passing through the window. It's is quite the sight. All I can do is to smile back, expressing all happiness her smile makes me feel.

There so much I want to talk to her about, to share, to make up for the time lost, but for now all I want is to be with my sister and to think about how good is to hear that, to hear that she loves me. Well, Anna, I love you, too. Very much. And this is something I can't let go of.


	2. My Queen

I hold Elsa's right hand with my left hand before climbing off the bed. I'm so excited to be with her and make up for the time lost I almost make her fall as I charge for the door.

"Oops, sorry" I say, looking back "we could go to the ballroom, there is more space there" I look ahead again as I search for the door knob.

"Ha, okay" Elsa apparently is having a good time with my excitement, I look back once more before twisting the door knob just to see her smile being slightly hidden by her free hand, her expression is playful.

As the door swings opened we see Gerda looking back at us a bit startled by the unwarranted opening of the door, at least she is less startled than I am by her sudden appearance, I guess it's the orange light coming from the candle she has on her, it illuminates her face in odd ways.

"Wow, again? Really?" I say in low volume to myself as I look a little to the side, unwilling to believe I got scared twice in the way in under 10 minutes.

"Pardon, princess?" Gerda calls my attention as if trying to understand what I said.

"Oh, it's nothing" I blush.

"So, has something happened?" Elsa asks, not long before letting go of my hand and taking a step forward.

"One of the guards has informed me that the queen was up late and, although I'm not one to bother you with nonexistent curfews and alike, I must remember you of the meeting with the council tomorrow early in the morning" she says as she looks at Elsa, but sometimes she looks very quickly at me, I guess I've put on a slight inquisitive look without noticing, her interrupting the fun me and Elsa were about to have just to talk about a boring meeting possibly made me a bit angrier than I'd like to admit "so I'd say it's for the best if the queen were to get some rest" that takes me off guard.

"That's right" Elsa says, surprising me even more so "it had slipped my mind for a moment" I turn to face Elsa and she looks like she is mentally arguing to herself for having forgotten about this meeting "I'm sorry, Anna" She says, turning to face me "it's not the usual but there is a lot to clear with the council after these last few days" her face showing distaste as in her head she failed me or her people, or something like that.

"It's okay, there will be plenty of opportunities for us to spend some time together, right?" I say taking her hands into mine, her expression lightens up.

"Right" she says with a half-smile on her face before giving me an unexpected but welcomed hug, I hug her back before long "good night" she says very lightly.

"Sleep well, miss queen with important things to do" I say jokingly, the both of us laugh a little "good night" none of us willing to let go just wet, it seems, I know I am not … her warmth, her sweet smell … what an odd thing to pay attention to, though it is pretty sweet.

We both release one another from out embrace as the boards on the floor squeak bellow our feet almost like they are say it's enough. We smile lightly to each other for a short while before the silence is broken by Gerda.

"I'm sorry for having to postpone your … playtime" she is not sure what words to use, it seems.

"It's okay" I say and the silence is back, but in a more awkward way and not for long "so … I'm going to sleep, I might have to attend a meeting myself, you know" I say as I walk backwards to my room, not a smart move as I almost fall on my butt once or twice before I have to go around a corner, all the while Elsa and Gerda wave at me and try not to laugh.

As I get myself comfortable under the blankets I think of how good it felt, I mean, it's something so simple but so precious, to able to say good night to my sister after so long, be next to her, hug her, feel her embrace, it feels so good. I realize I am smiling, maybe a bit too much thinking of my sister's embrace, but I guess it's okay.

The sunlight shining right on my face wakes me up, I dress myself the fastest I can, maybe I can have breakfast with Elsa before she goes to the meeting. I run through the corridors faster than ever. I'm really excited, it's our first breakfast together in more than a decade.

I stop before the double doors so I can straighten my clothes before entering the dining room, after doing so the only person I see is a servant on the corner.

"Hungry, princess?"

What a letdown, but I guess I could have woken up earlier. It seems I have been spouting for a few seconds now by the look of the servant's face. I ask for what I'd like to eat, and she leaves to prepare my request.

Soon after eating I'm thinking of what to do, strolling through the castle, bored. I every now and again pass in front of the meeting room hoping the next time I do so it's doors will be opened, and Elsa will be leaving though them. Before long I decide to just sit on the steps in front of the double doors of the meeting room. I try not to focus on what is being said so the time will go by faster but after some time it's hard not to.

"Weselton has been our partner in trade for decades now" a random councilor says.

"Indeed, but mostly because of their low prices more than anything else, we have other partners who would be happy to provide nearly everything Weselton was capable of" Elsa says, respectfully.

"And what about the goods other nations can't make up for" another councilor says in a doubtful way.

"The Weselton neighboring countries will surely be willing to provide them" Elsa replies.

"Aren't they and Weselton on war?" Someone else questions.

That question provokes a general argument and confusion. It upsets me to hear people going against Elsa, how can they blame her for wanting to avoid someone who demonized her and wanted her dead? I try to make out something of what they say among the noise, even though it might make me angry.

"Should we really get involved in this war of theirs?"

"What about the Arendellian families?"

"Maybe we might still be able go back on the ceasing of our trading relations".

This has been going on for about a minute now and between the noise and arguments I hear Elsa starting to raise her voice though not enough to be clearly heard by anyone. That is enough for me. I stand up run towards the doors, open them wide, people look back at me from within the large and spacious room in shock, Elsa being opposite to the door while the council members to the sides of the room.

"How dear you? She is your queen, they tried to kill her, she is the one you should be worrying about. She has done her best so Arendelle would not suffer from the lack of this partner in trade, if you would just listen to her you would have known that. And it's not like any other nation would mess with the Ice Queen, anyway" I say, bravely, though I guess I should have phrased some of those sentences better, but I know I'm right, or at least I feel it's the right thing to defend Elsa.

Elsa is gazing at me, her eyes wide. I'd say my presence and my saying on the matter at hand were unexpected. These few seconds of silence that were created by my intervention feel like hours. All I care about now is to run away from here.

"So … you all think about that" I say before turning around and shutting the door behind me.

I'm too scared to move, I hope I didn't ruin everything for Elsa, now I see that my desire to defend her blinded me, I mean, I should have thought about what it would mean to her in that situation. I hear Elsa talking.

"So … I guess … you _could_ see things from that perspective. Well, it's well past noon. Maybe we should be on our ways and we shall resume this reunion tomorrow" she says, the awkward silence that I left in there now evaporated.

I hear people start walking to leave the room and I run to hide from them, my childish shame getting the best of me. I think I'm safe behind the corner of the hall that passes in front of the meeting room. I peak and watch the councilors leave, and Elsa isn't among them.

Elsa takes a little longer to leave, it seams, as if waiting for there to be as little people around as possible and I am not sure if I want to know why.

"Anna?!" Elsa calls from within the room, in a calm voice.

I freeze for a second before I turn away from the door I've opened not long ago and ready myself to start to sprint. All I want to do is reach my room and lock myself in there out of shame. As I take the first step a wall of ice is magically created a few feet away from me, I get so scared I almost fall on my face, though I hold onto the wall not to do so.

"Anna …" I hear, in a more affirming way.

I guess I don't have much of a choice. I reluctantly stand up straight and start to walk towards the source of the voice that calls me.

The doors already opened I childishly peek inside just to be greeted with silence and emptiness.

"E … Elsa?" I say getting out of my hiding position and walking in.

"So …"

"Ah!" that really scared me.

I turn to my right to see Elsa leaning against the opened door, trying to hide her laughter with her hand and doing a bad job at it. I can't help but to laugh with her, her laugh is so contagious. all tension now gone.

"So …" Elsa says, trying to control her laughter "I have to say, I didn't know you were a politics person".

"Oh" I can feel my cheeks burning "I … well, I am not" I stumble on my words "but I try to stay opened for new experience" I say Jokingly.

"I see" Elsa laughs lightly "I quite liked your opinion" I make a victorious pose, hands on hips, legs apart, chest out, looking up, showing my pride on my decision of interfering in the discussion "I might as well have you join us any other day" she gazes at me with a teasing look.

Of course, you say the word and I'll be …" I take a second to realize how boring it would be and soon after my pose is undone "… There" regret is audible on my words.

"I thought you were willing to have new experiences" there it is, that teasing look, yet again.

"I am" I pout, just like a misbehaving child who's been caught red handed.

"You don't have to come if don't want to" damn it, her teasing look is so cute it's distracting, I walk toward her so I can lean against the wall right next to her.

"Really?" I ask with a smile on my face, she laughs and I know why, she got me good "but I _will_ want to" I pout once again.

"Okay, I believe you" she laughs once more and before I realize so do I.

Though these meetings sound monotonous I can't help but think I would show up to all of them if Elsa really wanted me to. Not that I am to find out these reunions are actually fun but just thinking that Elsa would be there sure makes it worthwhile.

The laughter stops slowly, and before the silence could set in, Elsa talks.

"But you really saved me there you know" she looks up for a second as if thinking about what she just said, I look up too, trying to figure out what is going on in her head and for a moment the silence takes hold of the room but not in an awkward way but before long it's gone "there was no telling how long that meeting would have taken" she looks at me again and I look back at her "and I am starving" she laughs lightly.

"That's right! It must be quite some time past noon. I didn't realize it because I had breakfast a bit late today."

"It's okay. We best go, the staff might me waiting for us for some time now".

"Sure" I grab Elsa's soft and slightly cold hand "let's go" we start to walk through the hall on a fast paced.

I am walking ahead of Elsa, leading the way, in a sense. I guess I'm just excite for after all this our first meal together in a long time. This makes me smile. I look at Elsa and she smiles back before her face shows preoccupation as her gaze turns to behind me and she tries to warn me.

"Anna! The …"

I couldn't react fast enough, and I end up hitting my head againt the ice wall Elsa created earlier. I fall on my butt because I not only lost my balance because of the head slamming but some of the floor was frozen as well.

"Anna! Are you okay?" Elsa's worry completely evident in her voice.

"Oh, I am okay" I say rubbing my head "I'll be fine."

"Let me see it" she bends over.

"Hm … Okay" turn my head to the side and only then I take my hand out of the way.

It gives me goosebumps the way Elsa touches me, not that I mind, it's simply pleasant in an odd way, the way she carefully and gently moves my hair searching for swelling or cuts. Her touch feels like care, thoughtfulness and warmth.

"I think … there is nothing to worry about" Elsa says as she stands straight up.

"Are you gonna leave me down here?" I make a lost dog face.

"Own! I would never do that" her hand now standing not that far from my face, Elsa's face delightedly adorned with a smile, it's funny how her sincere and playful smile moves me.

I look deep in her eyes and I simply don't feel like stopping, but I must before it gets weird. I finally hold her hand and prepare to get up. I try to move but, because of the slippery floor, I fall back yet again, this time bringing Elsa with me.

She falls on top of me. It isn't as painful as one would think it would be, but still a clunky position. Elsa is on her side, her head positioned right under my chin. We both make grunting sounds at the same time. I hug Elsa tight, so she wouldn't fall off me and maybe hurt herself. Before long she looks up as I look down and we laugh at the same time. As the laughter slowly ceases we gaze at each other's eyes, those beautiful bright blue eyes staring back at me make me want to be lost I them forever. I take my hand to her face to gently move a few strings of hair off her face, the tip of my fingers scraping lightly across her cheek. The eye connection untampered with.

"So, here is where you've been" Olaf exclaims, coming out of the blue and visually surprising us both as we turn our gaze at him "Gerda, I think that's her name, wants you to come and have lunch. You two better come fast or Sven will eat everything" Olaf smiles and turns around to then walk away.

"Well …" Elsa says, I turn to face her, directing my gaze to where she was so I could meet here eyes with mine but she moves before I could do so, she is holding an ice spike she grew out of the ice wall so she would have something to support herself onto "we must go" her face hovering not far from mine since she hasn't made that much on an effort to climb off of me, though I have to admit her cool breath is weirdly calming "Kristoff might want to see you" her face doesn't strike me as the most enthusiastic when she says Kristoff's name, or I'm just imagining things.

"Oh! Yes" the way we are positioned makes so that my shin scrapes against her breasts, I mean the clothing covering her breasts … the thought of me touching her breasts makes me turn red and my eyes widen "I … I mean, if Sven is here so is Kristoff, right?!" Elsa softly laughs, surely out of the face I made since she obviously doesn't know why I did so.

"We should be going already" she gets up, quickly dusts herself off and gives me a hand getting up myself and doesn't let go of my hand "and this time I'm walking ahead."

She starts to run without giving me time to process what she meant and before I know I'm being dragged through the castle doing my best not to fall, though I can't help but smile that's all I can do when I see Elsa having such fun as she is having right now.


	3. Forgiveness

I lean against the door frame and glance ahead, watching Anna and Kristoff walk towards the gates, Olaf is on Sven's back and they are a bit ahead of my sister and her … her boyfriend. Anna's hands are behind her back, fingers of both hands intertwined, and Kristoff is scratching his head, out of awkwardness I presume. They chat as they walk away. they appear to be having a good time.

The setting sun brings an orange tinge to the entire kingdom, but not more than it does so to Anna's red hair and smooth skin. Though it saddens me to think of the time that we've been apart I guess it makes me more appreciative of the time we will have to be together from now on.

As Anna and Kristoff reach the gates they turn to each other, talk some more and before long they hug each other to then share a quick kiss.

A sudden gust of cold wind blows by. It stuns me for a second, not for itself but for the fact that it was strong enough to startle the young couple I was watching. I retrieve to inside the castle and close the double doors, hiding from their intrigued gaze, not that I'm sure they were looking at me from that distance. I can't say for certain if that was my fault but I they could very well draw that conclusion.

I'm in the entrance room, my back against the wall to the left of the main doors, for almost a minute now trying to understand what has just happened, I try to reason to myself, repeating "maybe that gust of wind simply came from the sea, that's all". Before I could convince myself, someone approaches me. It takes me unprepared and I move suddenly to face this person. Could it be …

"Anna?" I ask, my thoughts becoming too loud to be contained.

It's not her. Instead all I see is a puzzled looking Gerda. My surprise must have made me gaze wide eyed at her because that's how she is looking at me and I know I must have scared her as well.

I start to recuperate my composure and not much after so does she.

"I'm sorry, Queen Elsa. I didn't mean to startle you" she says in a polite manner.

"It's okay, Gerda. So, did you want to tell me something?" everything normalizing inside my head.

"Yes, Queen Elsa. The representatives of the council are in the other room and wish to speak with you."

"The council? What for?" I say as I look to the door towards Gerda had motioned to. I might look puzzled myself now as I then look to the side trying to think of why they would prefer not to wait until tomorrow.

I just hope they don't want to complain about Anna's interruption. I know it wasn't polite, but I'll always stay on Anna's side as she did with me. Though I'm not sure, this late meeting is most certain because of some discontentment …

Before I could finish my thoughts, the windows burst open, the curtains flopping, signaling the entrance of the fast and cold air. Calling the attention of all the servants present.

I'm taken off guard, not because of the sudden swinging of the windows or the commotion of chamber maidens to close it, but because of the fact … It … it was me …

"That was odd" Gerda says before turning to me again "Anyway, Queen Elsa, the council …"

"Oh, that's right. Tell them I'll see them soon."

Gerda nods and walks away. I turn to face the doors from wish I came a few moments ago, thinking of my powers, thinking of how I must keep my mind stable … and thinking of Anna … she should be back by now.

Regardless, I shouldn't keep the council waiting. I better see what they want.

Later that night …

I stay motionless under the blankets rethinking my decision of letting the curtains opened. The moonlight coming from the window to the right side of the bed is too bright today, so much so I can perfectly see the sealing, yet I refuse to up and close it. Perhaps because I know that it's not what is keeping me awake. Feelings that I can't explain are the source of my sleeplessness.

For years the sensation that I am doing something wrong haunts me, and it has always compressed my heart tighter and tighter every time I think if Anna. Like if there is something deep down telling me I should do something, but I can't figure out what it is … and the powerlessness, the inability to understand, the feeling of something wrong you can right but don't know how … it hurts.

I move to lay on my left side, my back towards the window, maybe the noise of the blanket moving will deafen my thoughts, it never did, but this time it just might…

The knocking on the door pulls me back to sanity, though only this melody could do so, the same that my sister has played for years, trying to call my attention. Although I loved to listen to her voice it always made me somewhat sad as I couldn't answer it.

It takes me a bit too long to realize that this time is different. This time I can say …

"Anna?! Come in" I smile from ear to ear as I bolt upright and the blanket slides down my chest to my lap.

The door knobs move and the double doors open slightly. Anna's cutely freckled face partially appears from between the wooden doors as she presses her cheeks against them.

"Elsa? Did I wake you up?" she asks, pronouncing the words in a funny manner as she has half of her face held in place by the doors. It makes me laugh a little, I guess it's Anna's charm.

"No, I was already up. Please, come in."

"Oh, okay!" she says while coming in and turning to close the doors in a oddly hectic manner "it's really cold today, huh?" her voice shivery.

"You know I don't feel cold, right?!" I give her half a smile and raise one brow.

It's funny how her presence cheers me up quite fast.

"Oh, that's ri …" she turns to face me and stops speaking to look at me wide eyed for a moment "well … it's good you don't feel cold or you'd be freezing" she blushes.

It takes me a second to realize she is referring to my nightgown since it shows much more skin them her pajamas. I grab the corner of the blanket on my lap and try to cover enough of me and look down so I don't feel weird but to no avail. I guess it's my turn to blush.

"So …" she says and waits few moments pass by to only then say "oh, it's too cold"

I hear her foots steps getting closer quickly. When I look up I see Anna Jumping onto the right side of the bed, next to me. The movement of the bed coupled with her clumsy efforts of covering herself with the blanket made me lose my grip on it. When she finely was done she looked at me from below and asked …

"What? It's cold" the words coming from her partially hidden smiling mouth in the most adorable way "come on" she continues "lay down".

I can't say no to her like this. I smile at her and before doing as she asked she completes her request.

"Pretty please" her emerald eyes shining at me.

"Sure" I start to move "just because of the 'pretty please'".

Now lying down facing her, we stare at each other, eyes locked on one anothers'. It's a very welcoming fact, I don't know if sister do this, if they sleep together even when grown up but I find it comforting in many ways. But I can't help but wander why did Anna come to me.

"So, did you need anything?" I ask, to her mild surprise.

"What do you mean? Oh, the whole coming up here thing?" I give a little nod "I just wanted to see how you were. I couldn't find you after I came back to the castle. Gerda said you were with the council and I was wandering if it had something to do with my … addendum earlier today."

"Yes, it did" I say playfully, I think this might worry her even though I didn't say it seriously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Elsa. I Didn't mean to" I was right, it appears.

"Call down, don't worry. Everything is fine" I smile to tranquilize her.

"It is?" she raises an eye brow.

"Yeah. They came to say they understood what you meant, that they should have been on my side since I'm their queen and all of that. My sister Anna saving once again."

"I knew they would see reason" her face dawning smugness.

"indeed" I laugh "and after that we started to talk about you "she looks curiously at me" they told of one time you were surfing a bicycle down the stairs, out of pure boredom, it appears."

"Oh, they told you that, huh?" Her eyes wide and her face turns red, almost like it was about to burst in flames.

I can't help but laugh and when I see her pouting in response I laugh even louder.

"Well" she continues "it's not like I wanted to give them havoc" she tries her best to look unaffected by my laughter from a few moments ago, though she wishes she was better at it "but it's just that … I didn't have much to do … and you were …" she gazes away, her face serious.

It feels like I'm letting her down, I better change the subject.

"So … Where did y …" I start.

"Why did …" her gaze back on me as we talk at the same time.

We stay silent so the other can finish. I want to answer anything she might be in doubt about, but now I want more to see her smile again, so I ask first.

"So, how long did you take to come back to the castle?"

"Not much, I was about to go back, but a gust of wind came and Olaf fell from Sven's back" she seems to lighten up so I presume it was nothing serious "and he fell apart" she chuckles a little, which is very good to hear "except for his lower part, which ran away" she laughs louder and so do I, her cheerfulness is contagious, at least to me "after we managed to gather his upper body …

"Which is made of two snow balls, two rocks, two sticks and a carrot" I complete her amidst giggles.

"Yeah! But that's the thing, we couldn't find his nose, and when we realize it, his nose was stuck to his … behind if you may" she fights the urge to laugh some more so she could continue the story "and we were there, looking at the other end of the bridge only to see a white butt with no upper body running off with an orange tail."

We fall in laughter, which makes me realize how low we were talking in contrast with the noise we are making now. In our commotion our feet touch for a split second under the blanket. Her smooth and warm skin makes me stop laughing for some reason, though not abruptly. It's oddly blissful to feel it.

"Wow, you're co …" Anna calls attention to my cold skin though it seems like the words escaped her grasp more than anything else. Realizing this she stops for a second.

"Cold?" I give her half a smile.

She looks back at as if she is half annoyed and half laughing at herself.

"Well, yes! And you shouldn't be."

Before I could have a say in the matter she approaches me, but because of the way we were covered we still don't touch directly, except for our feet, which are somewhat entangled now. Her wobbling movements make me giggle a bit. It's only now that I realize how far away we were. When I laid down I for some reason I kept my distance. It pains me to think it might be because I grew accustomed, to keeping her away.

"You know …" I try to warn her but she wouldn't let me.

"Yeah, you don't feel cold, but I'm not going back."

"But that will make _you_ cold."

"Maybe, for a while, but just 'cause you don't feel cold it doesn't mean you can't feel warmth" her cutesy annoyed look is too delightful for me to say no.

"Far from me to ask you to undo all the work it took you to get here" I smile at her and she closes her eyes savoring success.

"As I was saying" oh, that 'pay attention' tone "we had to go after Olaf's butt, which ran towards a carrot stand that was about to close, and wouldn't you know it, his butt ran into it" I giggle "yeah, and we had to spend the next hour or so trying out carrot for Olaf's nose" I try not to laugh out loud and it appears Anna is having trouble keeping it in as well "because he wanted the one I gave him" although we try really hard we once again fall in laughter.

"Well" I try to calm myself "I understand him, I mean, if I got something from you I wouldn't want anything else in the place of that."

"Hm, you better! Too bad … we haven't had that much time to share, the last decade or so, huh?"

"Yeah …" her smile fades and it seems like her eyes are about to water up.

"But we will make up for it, right?" her shining bright blue eyes gaze at mine seeking comfort.

"Yes, we will" my response eases her worries and her smile starts to come back "we'll have the rest of our lives to do so, and that's the only reason I don't mind sharing you with Kristoff" it's a lie, I for some reason mind it "how did you two meet, anyway?"

"When I went after you" she shifts her gaze around the room trying to recollect her memories "I came across a trading post, I entered and so did he a few moments after".

"He seems like a nice man, though I don't expect any requests for blessing weddings anytime soon" I joke.

"Oh! You …" she sticks her tongue out and I laugh "no, thanks. I don't see us marrying, not for now. And it didn't help his family did their best to marry us as well."

"They what?" I feel … threatened for some reason and I let it show through, but it appears Anna didn't notice.

"Crazy, huh?! They even made us wedding attire out of grass, wood and some other things."

"What?" grass and wood?

"Oh yeah! And they are trolls."

"The rock trolls?!" that … was unexpected.

"Yeah … you know them?" she looks puzzled at me.

"Yes, we once had to …" I don't think I can bring myself to say it, it brings everything back "take you to them."

"What do you mean?" I sigh as there is no escaping this, though I think what made her intrigued was the look of hurt I've dawned without meaning to.

"When we were kids … you asked me to go play with you, one night. We went to the bowl room, we built a snowman and had fun with my ice powers. But as we were doing so I slipped and struck you in the head" it's really getting hard to push the words out and not to burst in tears "with an ice blast" a tear starts to travel down my face to the pillow as I feel too much shame to continue looking at her "the next thing you were cold on the ground, not responding and mom and dad were asking what had I done …" it feels like I have a thorn growing in the back of my throat.

"Elsa …" her trembling voice calls my attention, but I can't look at her.

"No! Please, let me finish or I might go crazy."

For some reason I waited for a response but for a moment all I have is silence. That is until she decides to move closer, to my surprise.

"Okay" she says, her voice barely audible, as she approaches and hugs me tight.

The heat of her body was not the answer I was expecting but I am glad I got. Her head against my chest, her warm face against the cold skin of my practically bare chest, all really comforting except for a cooler spot of what I guess is a tear she has shad.

"Please, continue. Let it all out" Anna pleads amidst sobs.

"They took us to the trolls and their leader came to see you. After the troll treated you" it's getting ever harder to speak "it was decided it was best if they made you forget everything about my powers and we should be kept apart."

The tears on my face start to freeze. I hug Anna tighter for my chest feels wetter because of Anna's crying, but's okay because that means she is here with me, unlike the other times I went over that night in my thoughts.

For a short while the only audible thing are our soft crying and sobbing. But I must continue, I need to get it all out.

"For the longest time that was the last time I ever saw you, hurt and cold, and it was I who caused it" just the reminder of that day is enough to make my heart ache beyond comprehension.

"It was an accident. You didn't mean to …" she tries to muffle her crying hiding her face.

"Maybe. But what I was sure of is the fact that I could harm you. Maybe our parents' decision had some reason to it."

Anna looks up at me, her expression is one of disbelief.

"How can you say that?" I think she felt offended, and I can understand why.

She moves back to face me better. I see Anna's soft skin partially illuminated by the moon light coming from the window behind her. Her beautiful face framed by her scarlet hair. Her paralyzing blue eyes surrounded by just the perfect amount of freckles, the same eyes that have shad tear … because of me.

Though I had a lot of emotions stored away that I had to put out, but it's only now when I see the pain I caused Anna that I start to doubt it was for the best. She doesn't deserve this, but I fear it's too late.

Without thinking I pull her back to a tight embrace, out of fear that she might want to leave, and right before her face is out of sight I see her wide her gaze out of surprise. My head is now over hers, our faces touching. I'm not sure of what will come out of this, but I might go insane otherwise

"Anna!" I cry "I never wanted that, all I knew is that you were, are and always will be the most important thing for me" my tears are making her hair wet "when I saw what I could do to you, all I care about was to make sure it would NEVER happen again. I know what our parents made was not the best thing, but it kept you safe, kept you well, and that thought was the only thing keeping me going …"

"Elsa …" Anna tries to talk but can't grasp the words and the little she is able to say is soaked in tear.

"No, let me finish …" my arms tighten a little more around her and to my surprise so do hers right after.

"Okay" her voice barely audible.

"I'm so sorry, Anna. I'm sorry that because of me you lost your memories, your sister, your freedom. That scared me, but I always told myself it was only because I couldn't risk taking your life. But what scares me now is that I can't bring myself to stay away from you. When you defended me from Hans … When I saw you … Frozen …" I almost can't breath "Dead …"

"Elsa …"

"I KILLED YOU!" scream, letting out all the hate towards myself I have stored "I killed you, Anna. And at that moment I wanted to die. I wanted to die, because I killed my sister, because I killed all the family I had left, because I was living my biggest fear, my biggest nightmare, but most of all, because I would never see you ag…" I can't hold it back, not anymore, I start crying uncontrollably as I talk "when you came back I was so happy, all I knew is that I … I mean … I love you so much … and …"

For almost minute all I hear is my crying though I feel like my soul weighs a hundred times less.

"Now" I manage to bring myself to talk again "all I want is for us to be together, I can't bear to lose you again, but I still fear … I don't know if I can handle …"

"I love you too, you know …"

Anna move back so she can face me. I ready myself to gaze at her saddened face but to my surprise that's not what I see.

The tears coming from her piercing blue eyes were expected, but what I couldn't anticipate was the fact that her reddish pink lips were curved in a smile. Even in with tears in her eyes she takes my breath away. Anna wipes the frozen tears off my face and starts talking.

"I'm going nowhere, okay" her eyes widen for half a second to make her point across, her voice still somewhat shaken "we'll have all the time in the world to make up for what we've lost, you would never do me harm …"

"How can y…" she puts her finger over my lips.

"AND if any accident happens all we need is act of true love. I love you. Do you love me?" even in situations like these that playful look of hers still melts me.

I nod my head as a smile mysteriously forms on my face. I guess hearing Anna saying she loves me simply does these kinds of things to me.

"Good" she takes her finger off my mouth "so we both understand that neither of us is going anywhere, you are the best sister I've ever had" I laugh "and we'll have lots of fun from now on."

"Oh, Anna" it's unbelievable what she does to me "you are simply too much"

"Oh, really?" she laughs or a second as she wipes the tears off her eyes "And is that a good thing?"

"The best."

I feel a lot better, now. I have Anna with me and I finally was able to take those things off my chest. I'd even say I'm getting a little sleepy.

Seeing Anna this close is comforting, her beautiful face surrounded by her fiery red hair … her hair … is completely red now …

"You know" I say "the night we took you to the trolls, I had struck you in the head and your some of your hair turned white. I always feared I would remember that night every time I was to look at you, but not anymore, it seems."

"Oh, that explains it then" Anna's expression turns serious for a moment but her playful look is back before long "but I guess it kinda means you were always with me throughout these years then. But now I don't need it anymore, you are here with me for real, now."

The way she turns a sad thing into a somewhat happy one makes me smile.

"Oh, Anna. You are too good for me. I don't deserve you."

"Well, I know there is nothing I can do to change your mind but …"

She comes near very quickly but the closer she gets the slower the time passes. her lips close together pressing against the tip of my nose … the warmth of her lips against the cold skin of my nose … a quick and soft kiss … that I think could … last longer … and …

Her voice makes life resume.

"… I'm happy enough knowing you're wrong" her face turns as red as her hair.

For some reason I … I can't … think …

"Now, you come here" Anna brings me closer to her and hugs me "you are freezing."

I feel like my mind is shutting down …

Her closeness …

Her warmth …

Her skin …

Her lips …

My sis …

My … Anna …

When I wake up the sun has yet to rise, though it makes it known it's about to.

Anna has turned away from me in her sleep. My body starts to move by itself as my mind has gone blank, I simply want to … feel her body next to mine. The only thing I can rationalize is my face burning. The tip of my nose and my lips are touching her shoulder. I feel the softness and the perfume of her skin. It's only after I get myself in a comfortable position I realize I've put my hand in between her abdomen and … breasts. For a moment the only thing in the universe that is bad is that time can't stop at this moment and it can't last forev …

Anna grabs my hand and brings it close to her chest. Her unexpected movement takes me by surprise. she holds my hand tight between hers and starts to talk in her sleep. Her voice one of sadness.

"Elsa?"

"Yes. It's me, Anna."

"Where have you been?"

"doesn't matter. I'm here now."

"Good. I love you."

"Love you too."

She moves as to get herself comfortable in my embrace and I can see for a brief moment a single tear on her closed eye, twinkling in the lights of dawn, and a peaceful smile on her beautiful face. I slip my arm under her neck, so I can hug her tighter. She presses her face against my arm now under it.

I love Anna so much … it hurts.


	4. Homesick

I look up to see the top of the tent. I didn't sleep that well. Maybe the years of sleeping in a big castle, on top of comfy beds, might have spoiled me … or maybe it's because I haven't seen Elsa in days …

Even though we've had a couple of months or so to reconnect and stuff I can't help but to miss her. It's been only two days of camping with Kristoff, learning the 'ways of cutting ice', but …

"Wake up, sleepy head!" Kristoff sticks his head from outside the tent.

It made me jump and hit my head against his.

"Outch!" is all I manage to say, as he only puts on a hurt look.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm okay. And you?" He leaves, I presume so I can better maneuver inside the tent since I need to put on my boots and my coat "It seems you usually hit your head when I'm around."

"I guess I'll live" he laughs lightheartedly.

After getting ready I put my hand out the tent, so Kristoff can pull me out. He does so before long. He pulls me into his embrace and kisses me. It was a quick kiss.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" he asks.

"Y … Yes. Sure. You?"

"Could've been better" he is looking in a bit of a funny way at me "next time we could share tents …"

I feel oddly reluctant. I'm about to respond when Olaf comes by. Good, since I don't know what I'd have said.

"So, I brought the fire wood" Olaf says before throwing the stick he was holding with his two hands onto a pile of six sticks, after that he lean against Sven and wipes the 'sweat' off his forehead.

"Fire wood?" I ask as I turn to face Kristoff once again "aren't we going back today?" I thought I'd see Elsa.

"Well, things have been going very well, I thought we could go back tomorrow" Kristoff says "we can light a fire, sing a little …" he looks weird at me again, I wander if his nose is itchy.

"We could … but … I told Elsa I'd participate in the council meeting being held tomorrow, so …"

"Are you sure" he looks disappointed "I don't think she would mind that much."

"Neither do I, but what if she … decides to put you out of business" I joke.

"What do you mean?" Kristoff lets go of me, it looks like he really didn't get it.

"You know, she is basically your biggest competitor" I laugh a little, but it didn't help, he still doesn't get it "she creates ice at will and all …"

Kristoff's and Sven's wide-eyed looks of disbelief are really funny. It's like their world shattered before them. As I'm starting to think they froze, Kristoff talks.

"Please, don't tell her that" his voice in a comically frighten tone I don't thing he wanted it to have.

Later that evening …

Olaf and I wave Kristoff and Sven goodbye before turning around to entering the castle. As soon as we enter Olaf gets distracted with something and I start running through the corridors, seeking for Elsa. I just need to see her. I see Gerda and proceed to stop her in her tracks.

"Hi, Gerda. How are you? Do you know where Elsa is?" my hands holding her arms, but its more because I'd have fallen otherwise.

"Oh! Good evening, princess. I'm well. Queen Elsa is in her office."

"Okay, Thanks a lot" I give her a smile, let go of her and start to run "see ya."

"But … wait! … Princess Anna!"

Normally I'd have stopped, but now, whatever it was, it can wait a little.

As I turn a corner and see the office door I already put my hand in front of me, just so I can open it half a second sooner.

My hand is now on the handle, but I still don't open it. For some reason I get insecure. I mean, Elsa is in there. How should I act, I miss her so much, but it's only been 2 days. I am … nervous.

I decide to go for a more mannered approach. I knock lightly on the door.

"Knock, knock. Anna coming in."

I open the door slowly … I'm so nervous … will Elsa be happy to see me?

I see … Elsa … by the fireplace … on the floor! And standing next to her, with something pointy and long in his hand, is … Hans!

My body goes cold and it feels like I'm at the frozen fjord again. I storm in the office, grab a book near by and throw it at Hans' head, I just wish it was a bigger book. As he grunts in pain I now stand between the both of them. And right before I am about to punch Hans I take a good look at him and think …

"Hans is missing his hair" maybe that wasn't just thinking.

He looks at me and I yet again "think" …

"And has aged quite a bit, too …"

"Anna?" Elsa calls my attention "what are you doing?"

She reaches for my hand and I help her up.

"Protecting you from … Hans."

I look back and this Hans lookalike gives me a quick laugh before talking.

"We've always hear we look the most alike between all the brothers."

Oh, so he's Hans' brother, it seems. He is a older version of Hans but what he exceeds in height he lacks in hair, that is, not much but noticeable.

Maybe his presence has something to do with what Gerda was trying to warn me about.

"Oh … I see …" is all I can say.

"Anna" Elsa says as if trying to collect her thoughts "this is Prince Lars, Hans' brother."

"It's a Pleasure to meet you" he smiles and bows quickly to me.

"Me too. I'm sorry for the book throwing and all" he laughs again "so … I bet you have a lot to talk about and … Gerda was calling me so …" I talk as I slowly walk towards the door to leave the room.

"Princess" Gerda come to the rescue, though she is a little out of breath "Anna … Queen Elsa is …"

"I think I got it, Gerda" I might stop and listen the next time "sorry".

Olaf walks by, gazes inside the room and gasps.

"Hans! … What happened to your hair?"

"Okay" I say "we are leaving now."

I walk out the door, grab Olaf by the hand and run, only to look back to Olaf missing an arm and Gerda looking wide-eyed at me. I guess I shouldn't let my shame driven despair take hold of me next time … or there's better not to be a "next time" at all.

Not long after …

It's been a good hour and a half since I ran from Elsa's office and it's only now that Prince Lars leaves. I wait until her turns a corner to only then go to Elsa's office. I open the door slowly.

"Hey, it's me again"

"Come in" Elsa responds, calmly.

I look at her. She is focused on the papers she is reading and signing. I feel too ashamed to move, so I just stand next to the door.

"Should I come back latter?" I ask.

"Stay, I'm just about" she signs one last paper "done. So" she turns to look at me, resting her elbow on the desk and her head on her hand "how are you?" she looks at me as if she knows what I'm thinking, and that makes her dawn a somewhat naughty smile.

"I'm … fine" when she looks at me like that turn red "and you?"

"I'm fine as well" she looks away from me and starts to straight her desk "you know, prince Lars said Hans told him you had a strong arm" my eyes wide opened "prince Lars said Hans was right" Elsa smiles and looks at me from the corner of her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa" I say in a crying voice as I walk towards the chair in front of her desk and sit on it "it's just that I saw you lying there, on the floor, and he really looks like Hans from behind …"

I somewhat throw myself over the desk, toppling over the inkwell Elsa was using moments before. Had she not been aware it'd have ruined some of her documents, but the only thing dirty now is my right hand.

"Sorry … again" I say, the way my voice comes out makes Elsa laugh a little, I guess it's the fact that my left cheek is being smooched by the desk … or would it be the other way around?

"It's okay" Elsa says.

She places the papers she has just saved into a drawer to then open another, grabbing two fine cloths from it. She cleans, with one of them, the mess I've made as she holds the other in her other hand. She then gets up, walks around her desk only to, when she gets close to me, sit on it, positioning herself in a way that puts her … leg … in my direct line of sight. I follow the shape of her body … I … I don't know where I'm going with this.

She takes my hand onto hers and starts to clean it with the piece of cloth she held. That makes me stop thinking about her body.

The elegance of her movements … the coolness of her fingers … the warmth of her hand ...

"You know" look up to see she looking at me as I talk "is it me or your hands have gotten warmer ever since we got to spent time together?"

She looks at me, smiles before going back to the task at hand. Get it? task … at hand? Oh my, you are hilarious, Anna.

"Well" she responds "maybe it's both."

Oddly her response makes me feel all warm and giggly inside. I thoughtlessly smile.

I stay still for a few moments, appreciating the thoughtfulness of her movements projected though the smooth piece of fabric rubbing against my fingers, now way cleaner then they were a few seconds ago.

"So" I call her attention yet again, her eyes still on my hand "what was happening?"

"What do you mean?"

"before, when I got in, you were on the floor and he was holding a fireplace poker …"

"Oh, that. So, I fell and he was poking the fire."

"I see."

"Yup."

More moments of silence.

"But" I break the silence "what was he doing here, anyway?" she laughs as if she knew that's what I was curious about.

"Lars arrived a few hours after you left. He came as a representative of the Southern Isles. When his family found out about what Hans had done, they weren't happy about it. So, they sent Lars to formally apologize and to ensure that our trading relations were as they always have been. And since Arendelle and the Southern Isles are so close, to find another provider of the same goods they provide us would require a noticeable elevation on taxes, not to mention that having an enemy this close to Arendelle … could put our population in danger."

"Not that any country would rise against you" I give her a playful look.

"Well, you might be right. But I don't think it would be necessary. It seems their king would want peace and friendly trading between us just as much, since they would face the same problems."

 _"And_ they don't have an ice magic wilding queen."

"yes" she smiles "I guess you're right."

More silence. I guess just it's Elsa focusing on cleaning my hand … and me focusing on her touches.

"And" Elsa breaks the silence this time "it's done" I sit straight "I mean, I only have this cloth on me" she refers to the fact that my fingers aren't completely clean. Well, I guess that's on me anyway.

"Thanks" I look at her hands which are dirtier than mine are, now "your hands …"

"What? Oh" she says as she looks at them "it's okay …"

As she examines her hands, her slender fingers, once white as snow, now covered in black ink, I can't help to … want to feel … to touch them again.

I focus on them so hard. I simply gaze at them, that is until the touch of Elsa's index finger on my forehead brings me back to reality. I think I must've gone cross-eyed because Elsa laughs a bit or maybe it had something to do with the fact that my forehead is now a little dirty.

"… you are really lovely when you are clumsy" Her smile makes me blush when normally I'd stick my tongue out "but enough of politics, right? It must have been boring to just listen to me talking about it. How was your weekend?"

"Pretty uneventful, really. There are only so many ways to cut ice. It is hard, to say the least, but …" I close my eyes, turn my face slightly to the side and scratch the back of my neck, for some reason I don't feel like talking about being away from her, I don't feel like remembering it "it's just that … it gets boring. I mean, it wasn't, not that much … or maybe I could have been less so … or even I could have made is less so … but my mind wasn't in it."

"Did Lars say what happened to Hans?"

"Worried about your ex-fiancé, huh?" Elsa raises a brow at me as if expecting me to bite the bait.

"Really? …" I can barely keep my eyes opened for such a silly question.

She laughs out loud for a brief moment. I don't think that was the answer she was expecting but it was enough to amuse her. Though I have to admit that it is funny to imagine Kristoff getting goosebumps at the moment Elsa uttered those words. But now that I think about it, I think I should be fluttered at the idea of Kristoff being a little jealous but … no … I don't feel nothing.

"Okay" Elsa says "sorry, I was just kidding. But anyway, Hans had an arguably light sentence for attempted murder against the royalty of a neighboring country" she stays silent for a second or two to build suspense "cleaning horse dung."

"What?!"

We both laugh. I, at least, am laughing at the idea of him cleaning up after horses, stepping on it, even falling on it, that one made my day.

"Now" Elsa can't talk straight "now get this. Lars told me he fell on horse dung a whole lot of times, already."

I laugh so hard my stomach aches. I try to get a hold of myself and as I do so I seek support putting my hand left on the desk. My hand lands right on top of Elsa's. That make me realize something.

"But, that's it? He tried to kill you …" that is too little to pay for trying to take Elsa from me.

"He tried to kill you too" she placer her other hand on top of mine "but yes, I wasn't particularly happy about it either. And neither were any from the Southern Isles' royal family, specially the king. It appears that Hans' oldest brother has yet to complete a full year of rule as king, since their father has passed not long ago. And the negative implications of having a prince trying to overthrow a neighboring country are too great. The population might start to question their rulers. So, they have opted by having the story omitted, which meant Hans couldn't go to jail for no reason. So, the next best thing was obligating him to handle manure …"

"Forever?" I smile expecting her "yes".

"Well, no" I can't believe it "only until he has our 'official unofficial forgiveness', as Lars put it."

"Oh … forever, then?"

"I guess so" we laugh again "because, you know, before he tried to kill us … he tried to take you away from me …"

She looks serious at me, but something is different … something in her eyes gives me goosebumps and makes me blush at the same time …

The silence grows … it's not suffocating … but rather soothing …

Different from Kristoff, it doesn't make want to come up with something to talk about right away as if we had to.

Her hand tightens its grip ever so slightly around mine. That makes me look at them and Elsa follows suit as if it brought us back from wherever our minds wondered off to. Elsa is the one who breaks the silence again.

"It appears your other hand is now dirty as well" she seems different now

"Look who's talking" I give her my 'excuse me' look, trying to cheer her up."

"I guess you are right" it seems that my plan worked, I see faint smile on her face "it's late, we should get ourselves cleaned and get some rest."

"No, wait" I grab her hand before she could stand up "I mean … what else has happened since I left" I don't want to go to sleep yet.

"Nothing interesting, really. The only thing that was unexpected, except for Lars, was that shop owner, remember him? Making a fuss, trying to make me go back on my decision to cease trading with Weselton. Well, he's at it again."

"Why don't you book a formal meeting with him. listen to his arguments and then make he listen to yours, get your points across. If after that he still disagrees, you've done everything in your power."

"That's what I want to do, but there are so many other things I have yet to set straight …"

"I know …"

The silence comes once again …

"Okay, it's a queen's order, we are going to bed now, young lady."

Elsa grabs my hand so she can drag me to my bed, which is really unfair.

As I stand up I grab her other hand.

"But I wanna spend some more time with you" I say as if a was an annoying child.

"We'll have plenty of time, but now …"

"Oh, I know. Do you wanna build a snowman?" Elsa looks at me, as if she was doubting my enthusiasm, before smiling.

"Haven't you had enough of ice and snow for a weekend, as you said yourself?"

"Well … it's different, now."

"How so?" she raises a brow.

"Because this time it's with you …"

Her gaze yet again with that special something that makes me feel weird … but good weird.

"Okay" she says, her smile getting wider.

"Yes!" I jump in place in commemoration.

"But first …"

That makes me stop jumping, out of confusion. Elsa approaches me, licks the palm of her hand, an area untouched by ink, in a somewhat slow and sensual manner, and rubs it against my forehead, right over the spot I had actually forgotten was dirty. The way she licked her hand, the cool sensation on my forehead, plus the smell of Elsa's perfume …

"Let's wash our hands, at least."

She smiles at me in such a loving way as I, wide-eyed, nod … I now know what I was missing while I was away … I know what kept me up … entire days without Elsa's adorable smile kept me up … I don't know why, but that's it …

I'm pulled back to reality when Elsa breaks eye contact.

She walks to the door, I do so as well not long after. She opens the door and cordially motions me to leave.

"Milady" she says.

I step forward and right before I leave the room I reach out for her hand and look into her deep blue eyes. We gaze at each other for a moment. Her hand reaches mine. Our fingers intertwine. The unique sensation of her cool and slender fingers sliding to the back of my hand, the warm and soft palm of her hand falling onto mine, the pleasantly tight grip we've gotten on each other, all combined, making it feel like the world is spinning slower only so I can relish on it a little bit longer.

Words escape my mouth.

"I missed you so much" my voice barely audible.

"I missed you more" her hand tightens just a little more around mine.

Normally I'd have disagreed, but I missed so much and to think she could've missed me even more makes my face turn red, though her gaze doesn't help.


	5. Little Sister

To fully enjoy this chapter you must've watched the short movie "Frozen Fever" from Disney.

The sun has just given us a sight of its beauty and I already walk around town certifying everything along the red string is ready. It's the first of Anna's birthdays I'll spend with her in years and I hope everything goes perfect. I'm nervous, there have been so many years, I barely remember how a birthday celebration feels like. All I know is that I'll do my best to make this day special for Anna.

I look to the side, picturing in my mind me and Anna walking by.

"Queen Elsa! Good morning" This voice is not familiar to me, it's deep and rasp, and this thought makes me look back instinctively "it is a pleasure to see you" I'm greeted by a smile partially blocked by a reddish-brown mustache.

It is a tall man, past the mid of his life, brown hair and full beard. He is sporting a dark red coat, I don't know if it's that, the way he smiles or his posture, but it seems he is trying to intimidate me. Though I don't let it affect me he looks proud of himself. I see from the corner of my eyes the guards, that on my request have taken their distance, start to run toward us. I signal to them it's all under control.

"Oh, good morning" I managed to keep my posture and it seems to take him off "and who you would be?".

"My name is Adrian Rubel, the -"

"The business man" I cut him off "who has campaigning my people against their queen" his left eye twitches for half a second, out of nervousness I presume.

"I'd say I'm only bringing awareness to the injust and unwise deeds committed by their ruler" so it's safe to say he doesn't see me as his queen, I wonder why that is.

"I guess not many share your opinions it seems, since it's only you who tries to rally my people and few if any have shown to agree with you on this matter".

"if you could only see …" he steps forward.

"I shall listen" I emphasize the last word making him stop on his tracks, his eyes widen ever so slightly "to what you have to say … tomorrow … on the appointment you have requested the council for so long".

"Indeed, you shall" I see his brows get closer together as turns and walks away.

I watch him turn on the first corner he goes through, to leave my line of sight I suppose. i gaze to the side wandering what must've led that man to dislike like this. One of the guards approaches me.

"Is everything alright, Queen Elsa?"

"I'm sure he won't try" my gaze still on the floor, inquisitive "but don't let that man attend the party this evening" I look the guard in the eyes "and never let him sneak up on me or Anna like that".

"Yes, Queen Elsa!" he exclaims with seriousness in his eyes.

"Good. Now I'll resume the inspection, and you can stay closer this time. It won't take long until we reach the castle and I get to revise everything with Kristoff.

Not long after, I get to the commercial center of the town. It's quiet, probably for it being this early in the morning, thus I can hear quite well the sole conversation taking place right outside of a tailor shop. I unconsciously search for its source and through the leaves of a bush I see two women, one tall, with short blonde hair and the other being of medium height with long brown hair, walking calmly, holding each other's hands.

"It's this early" the blonde says "and you already want to start getting ready.

"Well" the brunette responds "everyone will be there … and I don't want you complaining about how late I got you.

"You're so beautiful when you act altruistically" they smile to one another, the way the blonde pronounced the words was … new.

"Plus" the brunette adds as they walk up the steps to the tailor shop's door "Princess Anna is quite beautiful herself".

To hear someone address Anna's good looks is strange. I feel just like I do when I see Anna and Kristoff, I feel … jealous.

That comment didn't only unsettle me since the blonde looks at the brunette in a serious manner.

"What?" the brunette asks, I guess playfully "jealous?"

"Well, isn't jealousy justified at the prospect of someone taking my girlfriend from me "she gets closer to the brunette and embraces her."

Her … girlfriend …

"Ha!" the brunette laughs sarcastically "as if someone could take me from you" she hugs the blonde back.

They quickly and almost unnoticeably scan the area to then share quick a kiss. Seeing that gives me chills down my spine.

"Good" the blonde says before kissing the brunette again.

And once again a jolt of chilling energy ran up and down my body and it got stronger as their kiss intensified. But, before long, they cease their kiss.

"Let's go" the brunette says "the longer we take the longer you'll wait.

"That's right" the blonde says as they let go of each other.

The blonde unlocks the door and they both enter the tailor shop.

My mind goes numb with the image of the two women kissing. It's something that never crossed my mind before, something I never considered being a possibility because I never thought it existed, it's like opening a window on a dark room and you can see things you never thought of before or finding out the name of a emotion you never knew you had. For some reason I think of Anna …

Anna! It's her birthday. It's Anna's birthday. I must get to the castle, I must make sure everything is perfect, for Anna. I must make today the perfect day for her. I must occupy my mind.

Though I feel the chill every time I remember the sounds of them kissing …

Focus, Elsa! For Anna. For Anna …

(Later that day, it appears Elsa has had a cold)

I've been singing the whole day, that's why I feel just a little, little, liiiiiiittle bit tired … and dizzy …

"Come on, now we climb!" I point towards the clock tower and I don't know how but we'll make 'till the top.

"Elsa, that's too much. You need to rest" why is Anna being so not fun, that couple seemed to have fun, and that reminds me of something.

"We need to get to your birthday chills" ops, that could've been weird had Anna seen what I have "I mean thrills."

"Makin' dreams!" Anna looks so dreamy, even holding all that stuff I got her "Makin' plans!" lots of plans, that sounds dangerous.

I practically need to drag Anna with me to the bell tower. Come on, Elsa, you can do it.

"Go go go go!" I run up the stairs since I so do not have a cold because I'm so healthy "Follow the string to the end. You are my very best friend" for some reason it bothers, I mean only 'best friends', I rest my head on the handrail.

"Elsa?" she sounds worried, so cute.

"What?" my head jolts up "I'm fine" imma show her I'm fine "We're gonna climb! We're gonna sing! Follow the string to the thing!" and so we do.

Why are tower so tall. I climb and climb and climb …

I guess we reached the top of the tower. Wow! Pass the figures carved and painted after me and Anna there is a ledge. I hold a pillar just so I don't fall.

"Happy happy happy" I sing as I circle around a pillar "merry merry merry" I wander if Anna would miss me if I fell from here "hot cold hot birthday!" oops, I it feels like I'm falling.

Did I lose my grip on the pillar or something? That 'would Anna miss me' thing was just hypothetical, you know? Who am I talking to, Anyway? Well, I guess that's it for …

I feel Anna's tight grip on my hand right before it's too late. She pulls me back to safety. Oh Anna, once again you save me. That's only one of the many reasons I love you.

She hugs me tight and puts her hand over my face. Her touch tranquilizes me to quite an extent.

"Woah!" she says, startled " Elsa, look at you, you've got a fever! You're burning up! Alright, we can't go on like this. Let's put this day on hold" I wish I knew why "Come on, admit it to yourself."

"Ok" fine, I know why "I have a cold."

(A few minutes later)

We near the gates, now closed since they hold a surprise party behind them. I only wish I were in a better shape to be able to enjoy the party with Anna. I only hope I haven't ruined it already.

"I'm sorry, Anna. I just wanted to give you one perfect birthday. But I ruined it, again."

"You didn't ruin anything. Let's just get you to bed …"

The gate swings open to show the whole village and dozens of snowgies singing and dancing for Anna, but nothing made me feel outdone like Kristoff sliding on his knees and screaming he loves Anna. Well, I can still try one thing. I wait until the perfect moment and scream.

"A perfect day!" I guess that's it, and only now I realize it might be a little weird I'm trying to outdo my sister's boyfriend.

"Ok" Anna stops me "to bed with you" she won, but there is something I have to do, I mean, I brought it out here after all.

"No. Wait! Wait! All that's left to do is for the Queen to blow the birthday bugle horn."

"Oh, no no no no no …" sorry Anna, but there is no stopping me now.

I blow it the hardest I can, I even sneeze for some extra power. Best idea ever.

Anna grabs me by the shoulders and before I know it we are inside the castle. As Anna pushes me through the corridors we see Gerda and Anna asks something of her in a scream.

"Gerda! We need a warm tea and a hot bath. Elsa's got a cold!"

I would protest, that is if I could muster the energy. But I must admit it's funny to see Gerda's puzzled face as she starts to go after what she's been asked.

We continue walking, Anna's hands always against my back. But suddenly I don't feel them anymore, I presume they were hurting. Com'on Elsa. I decide to continue walking, I don't want to hurt Anna anymore.

"Elsa!"

"What? Your hands hurt?" I say as I turn in a bumble, almost tumbling over.

I see Anna holding the door to the corridor leading to my room opened, she dawns a confused look.

"What? No, I said we're here" I guess I didn't hear that part "haven't you been listening?" she seems amused.

"if I didn't listen, did you really say it?"

"Okay, misses philosopher" she comes to me and grabs my hand, her skin as warm as ever "let's go."

And off we go. I feel her pulling my hand and when I realize it, I'm in my room, sitting on my bed and Anna is on her knees trying to take off my boots.

"No no no" I cup her face between my hands and shake my head as I talk "it's your birthday, you shouldn't be doing that."

She manages to take one off before lightly holding my wrists and distancing them from each other rendering her able to talk. "Rendering" is a funny id you repeat it fast enough times. Rendering rendering renderingrenderingrendering …

"So" she says as she goes for the other boot "since it's my birthday, you should do as I say."

"hm" Anna is funny "I can't deny that logic."

"No" she struggle to get the boot out "you" almost there "can't" she did it.

"So, what should I do?"

"Stay under the blankets and wait."

"Done" I position myself a bit stiff trying to look serious but since Anna chuckles a little I guess I wasn't very successful.

"I'll be right back" she says before leaving the room.

Anna is no fun, she left me here all alone …well I guess … I yawned … I mean, I guess she won't take long. I might just lay my head against something and she'll be back in the blink of an eye.

I blink … and she is back … and also is my sanity it seems.

"Sorry it took so long" she says while she enters through the doors balancing a tray with a cup and a kettle on it.

"Oh Anna. You didn't have to do all of this for me" she looks at me with a childish anger as if I was being stubborn, her puffed cheeks amuse me.

"Now, quiet you. You are sick and I'm taking care of you. Got it?"

"But your par…" cuts me off.

"Ah! Got it?"

"Well" I sigh "got it."

"Good" her angry look dissolves into a radiant smile and there is little I can do to fight the smile forming on my face as well "now have some tea because soon your hot bath will be ready."

Anna fills a cup with tea, hands it to me and I hold it with my too hands. Its warmth is welcomed. I slowly bring it closer to my face, so I can feel its scent before I drink it. I take a big sip and it is as refreshing as it could. I lower the cut, though it still touches my bottom lip, to see Anna and her air of satisfaction, as endearing as always.

For a few moments there is only silence, that is, except for the occasional, almost unaudible, noise I make while drinking, but it's a soothing silence. I mean, we rarely gaze elsewhere but into each other's eyes, so I guess that has something to do with it.

Anna realizes I'm about to finish my cup, so she promptly picks up the kettle to refill it.

"Aren't you having any?" I ask her.

"You need it" she looks up at me, those bright blue eyes directed at me complemented by her rosy cheeks "way more than I do."

"still …" my face turns red for some reason "and what about your party?"

"Olaf is singing for the people" she puts the kettle away and sits straight once again "and Kristoff is rounding up those armless … snow … sentient … thingies.

"I decided to call them Snowgies."

"Oh, that's fitting, because they are half snow and half … thingies" I guess she couldn't come up with something else that defines them and has to do with 'gies' "still, good name" we share a laugh.

It doesn't take long for the peaceful silence to come back as I resume the sipping of the tea.

"Are you sure you don't some?" my voice echoes in the cup now half full and close to my mouth.

"no, you can have it."

"I can't drink anymore" the inner tip of her brows come closer to each other and point upwards as if asking if I'm sure "seriously, want some?" I stand my arm, offering the half full cup.

"Okay" her expression eases and as she looks to the cup she gives it a half smile in defeat.

Her hands go for the cup being held by the handle by me. Her fingers gently scrape against mine which makes us look into each other's eyes yet again.

With the cup now near her chest she looks at it as she nears it to her face, that is, before she closes her eyes, slowly appreciates the tea's perfume, opens her eyes but just a little and starts to drink.

She finishes the tea and distances the cup from her mouth. Her upper lip has a drop of tea on it but before log she licks it. Her tongue passing over her pink lips takes my mind for a loop a little and I don't know why.

I sneeze and a few more snowgies spawn around us and we laugh a little.

"Wow!" Anna looks around as the Snowgies run back and forth "where can we put them, by the way?"

"well …" I haven't really thought about it, actually "oh! I remember of a castle on top of a snowy mountain they'll love."

"Ooh! That's right, they sure will" she says putting the cup on top of the nightstand "you know, they are really taking a long time with you ba-"

"Excuse me" Gerda knocks on the door, almost if she was waiting for her cue "Queen Elsa, your bath awaits you."

"Finally" Anna whispers to me before talking louder so Gerda would hear "Thank you, Gerda. We'll be there soon."

"We?" I ask, the thought of Anna being there as I bathe confuses me in more ways than it should "is this necessary?" her gaze is of someone who's been doubted.

"Get up and you'll see what I mean" now she is playfully challenging me with her gaze.

I slide one leg out from under the blanket, it could've been easier, but it's still doable. The other goes as smooth, better yet, not smooth as the other, but still as doable. I try to get up and I understand what she meant. Everything hurts, my back, my arms, my legs. I guess since I'm now of sound mind I feel it way more than before, in my almost drunken state.

"Told you" her very face says 'I told you so' "and I bet you can't reach for your back either."

I try, but to no avail. I give up and give her the 'lost dog' look.

"Help me" I say stretching my arms in her direction, even though my shoulders hurt "pleeeeeease" Anna laughs a little while she rolls her eyes.

After a very complainy walk to the bathing room, courtesy of me, we're left alone.

Anna and I look at each other and it stays like this for a few seconds. Just us in a steamy room mostly lit by candles but I soon break the silence.

"So …" I say, thinking about the fact that I will have to undress myself.

"Yeah …" I guess this is strange for the both of us if the look on Anna's face anything is to go by.

"mmhm …" I'll have to say it "so this is the part I undress, right?"

"I … I guess" her cheeks are as red as they've ever gotten "do … do you want any help?" and now I know why.

"No, I mean, it's basically ice so … yeah"

We look around for a few moments.

"so" I say "I'll do it then."

I position myself next to the bathing pool, it's to my right, my back turned to Anna. I start removing the dress. It slides down my body and falls to the ground almost inaudibly. I take my hands to my shoulders, each hand is on the shoulder opposite to its side, in such a way that my forearms cover my breasts, even though I don't feel awkward in any way but simply because I don't know what else to do.

I look back over my shoulder to see Anna looking to her side, her fingers twirling her hair. I guess she doesn't know what to do as well.

I put my hands on the border of the tub and bend over it a little, so I can feel the warm steam better. My left-hand slips in and I moan, because of the soaring sensation on my muscles, before I recollect myself.

"Are you okay?" Anna looks at me, instinctively if I were to guess "wow" her eyes widen.

"Hm … I think so, my hand just slipped, that's all" I smile at her as is telling her not to worry.

She walks closer to me, she is to my right, her eyes look down frankly, like she was trying to remind herself what she meant to do.

"Le … Let me help you" I'm not complaining.

She gently puts her right hand over my left hand, signing I'm meant to hold it. I feel her warm breathing on my right shoulder. She then puts her left hand on my right wrist. I turn my body to face her as she puts my right hand over her left shoulder, all the while I'm looking into her eyes.

Her left hand now lies on my side, I think it's for stability. I raise my left leg, with some difficulty, and put it in the pool. The heated water against my skin is quite revigorating. The moment my body is completely submerged I can't help but to let out a sigh of relaxation.

Me and Anna talk and laugh, and when I see it, all that there's left to wash is my back. I even attempt one last time to reach it, so Anna doesn't have to be bothered, but I had the same result. But I'm not discontent I couldn't, though.

"Hey" says Anna "that's my job."

She's been sitting on a chair right behind me. I can hear she clunkily dragging the chair closer to the tub. Suddenly her right hand comes to my left, from behind of my head. Her hand signaling me to give her the sponge that I've been using. I do as requested but a small giggle escapes my mouth.

Anna begins to rub right below my neck. She applies a soft pressure, I presume she might be afraid to hurt me. Little time passes and I start to revise the day in my head and I remember something that impressed me when I saw it, and right after it made me feel something different.

"Anna … can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Remember we entered through the gates?"

"Yes."

"Kristoff …" I feel her rubbing stops "he sang he loved you …"

"Hm …"

"Did you tell him you loved him back?"

"N … no …"

"And why is that?"

"I … I don't know … I mean, I like him, very much so, but … I can't bring myself to say it …"

The rubbing resumes shortly after.

"And also" she resumes "I don't want to lie to him. In a way one of the perks of taking care of you is the fact I didn't need to face him right then and there" the tone of her voice is more of a playful one, now."

"So that's why you wanted to personally take care of me, hm" I try to cheer her up.

"That is 1% of the reason."

"And what are the other 99%?"

"9% is taking care of you and 90% is giving you a sponge bath."

We laugh. All the tension there was in now gone. I raise my hand which is now out of the water. I open my hand inviting Anna's free hand onto it. She gets the clue and accepts the invite. I lightly grab her hand as to make the its palm face up and pressure it against my cheek tenderly. Though the water is heated, Anna's skin still is just as warm. This thought makes me smile.

A hear light knocks emanate from the door.

"Princess Anna" it's Gerda's voice "the soup you've requested is ready."

"Thanks, Gerda. We'll be right there" Anna's voice comes out louder, so she can be understood from behind the door.

A few minutes of redressing and returning to my bed pass by and somehow Anna has convinced me that she should spoon-feed the soup. As soon as I've had all of the soup Anna puts the plate away and then straights the blanked on my back.

"Best birthday present ever" says Anna, out of the blue.

"Which one?" I ask intrigued, since there were so many.

"You letting me take care of you."

That surprises me. I feel incredibly happy to hear that.

Hadn't she talked to me about her feelings towards Kristoff I'd have thought his declaration'd be her favorite present.

And again I sneeze only for Snowgies to spawn all around us. We can't help but smile at each other for a few moments.

"Well" Anna says right before standing up "it's getting late and you need to rest."

"Oh" I look down processing the fact that she means to leave "okay" I'm not okay with this "thanks for everything."

"No, thank you."

She grabs the plate and looks around to address the Snowgies.

"now, you guys, follow me 'cuz tomorrow we are taking you to your new home."

I understand that I'm not included in that "we" she mentioned. Anna opens the doors, walks through it and right before she closes them I realize there is something I need to say.

"Anna!

"Elsa?" she looks into my eyes.

"I love you."

She smiles.

"I love you, too."

I smile back.

For a short while we just stay like this, smiling at each other. Just me and Anna.

But before long one of the Snowgies breaks something in the hall and we are brought back to reality.

"Now, rest" Annas says before closing the doors and running to attend the Snowgies.

I lay down on my side seeking to do as Anna said, and remembering her words, I relax with ease and soon I fall asleep.

I wake up, my room is really dark, I hear footsteps, I bolt upright unintentionally showing my bare chest. I hear Anna's voice.

"Elsa…

"Anna?" my eyes take a while to focus "did something happen? Why are you here?"

"I'm here … to take care of you."

It's so dark I can't really see her but the little I see I can make out that Anna … is not wearing any clothes.

She comes closer to the bed, climbs on it and slowly crawls up to me. Her face is so close I have to lay down again, but as I thought, she follows. She is standing on her elbows and knees, which are to my sides, enabling her to hover over me and pin me down to the bed because of the blanket that still cover my legs. She brings her face closer to mine, so much so I can feel her lips on mine, though they barely touch. I can also smell her delicious breath as she talks. But what makes my skin crawl is the fact that as she gets closer I feel the tip of her breasts press against mine.

"Kiss me, Elsa."

My mind is blank, I simply move. My right hand goes on the back of her neck and the left goes on her back. I look deep down into Anna's barely visible yet beautiful sapphire eyes and she does the same to me, this makes my head spin.

"Please, Elsa. I need you."

The way Anna said it, her voice filled with lust, makes me realize I need her just as much.

I pull her closer so her entire body is touching mine. I kiss her with all the passion I can muster. Her taste, her tongue, her mouth are now all mine, no one else's.

She starts to kiss me down to my shin, then to my neck. It feels so good it's maddening. she then goes up to my ear.

"Queen Elsa" she says slowly.

"Yes" I say, not even knowing how I managed to.

"Can I come in?" I feel her hips moving up, giving enough space for her hand to move in.

"Yes" I feel the tip of her finger inching ever closer to my intimacy.

I let out a soft moan and …

The door swings open, I bolt upright. Anna is gone. I'm wearing clothes again. I'm all alone except for Gerda between the now opened doors.

I'm breathless.

"Queen Elsa, I'm sor … are you alright?" I can't bring myself to look at her.

"Y … yes. I'm fine" that's debatable.

"I just wanted to know if you think you are well enough for the meetings this morning, otherwise I can postpone them."

"I think … it'd be for the best."

"Okay. I'll go now. Sorry to bother."

She leaves.

I try to recuperate my breath … and my mind. What … where did that come from?

"I think I might be going insane."


	6. No More Tears

I open the doors of Elsa's room expecting to see her lying on the bed, still sleeping even. But to my surprise she is up and looking out the window.

"Good morning" I say, calling her attention from across the room.

"Oh" she turns to face me and smiles "good morning."

I walk up to her. Her gaze following me at all times, it makes me blush. I stop right in front of her. Her deep blue eyes make me forget why I came here in the first place, but as I recollect my thoughts I remember.

"So" I say "feeling better?

"Yes" she smiles even more and I smile back, I can't resist her contagious happiness "thanks to you."

Elsa hugs me in a very tight and loving manner, her left hand firmly on my waist and her right hand higher on my back. I suppose it's her gratitude she is expressing, but I can't complain, though. Feeling her this close to me is always pleasing, her uniquely pale and tender skin, warm embrace and perfume become the only thing in my mind.

I don't know for how long we've been like this, but Elsa lets go of me and steps back, but it still feels like our embrace didn't last as long as it should.

As she moves back her hand slides down my arm and holds grabs my hand. We stay like this, sliming at each other and holding hands, a little longer.

"Thanks" says Elsa "I really needed you here."

"And why is that?" I look puzzled at her.

"Do you remember" she sighs and walks to the window, letting go of my hand "Adrian Rubel, that business man causing havoc?"

"Yes, what about him?" her tone worries me a little.

I grab her hand again for emotional support … or maybe because I really want to. She looks at me and smile before looking out the window again.

"Me and the council were supposed to have a meeting with him this morning" she sighs "but I called it off since I don't think I'm well enough."

"Well" I think of something to cheer her up, make her laugh maybe "shouldn't you be on the bed then?" I see a smile begin to form on her face "Queen Elsa …"

I smile to her expecting her to smile back but instead I get a half head turn and a look I can't quite decipher. Her gaze makes me blush. it feels like my face is about to go up in flames, and for that I look down, not unlike how I felt when I saw her unclothing. Elsa's voice is shaky and her breathing gets heavier.

"What?" I want to look at her but my shyness won't let me "… I mean, I should" she voice normalizes and she looks out the window again "but Gerda came, not long ago, alerting me he had come. I had to see for myself what I did to him. I told him he'd have the meeting he asked for and still I negate it to him."

"But you are sick. It's not your fault."

"I know" she lets out a quick and sarcastic laugh "but I imagine how things are from his perspective, he is displeased with me, I told him he would have the chance to explain himself personally to me and without warning he loses that opportunity."

"Couldn't you hold this meeting tomorrow?"

"This was already a rare opening in my schedule and tomorrow I'll have to leave …"

"Leave? What do you mean? Aren't you sick?"

"I had it arranged for a few weeks now, but I was always thinking about your birthday and I forgot to tell you. I'll go over a few of the neighboring countries to officialize some new contracts and some other things. The ship lives tomorrow afternoon."

Elsa … is leaving …

Just the thought of not having her here for me … makes me despair.

"Anna?" my mind has wandered off, I look back at Elsa "would you like to come with me?"

"Well" I want scream "yes" "Kristoff has invited me to spend the week with him …"

"Oh" Elsa looks down for a brief moment "maybe … it's for the best. It'll be mostly boring things until we get back."

"Oh …" something deep down hurts wishing Elsa would fight harder to have me go with her.

An almost inaudible screaming can be heard from the window. Elsa explains.

"That's the man. The business man I told you about."

I look out the window to see a tall bearded man practically making a scene on the yard screaming out of anger and pushing people out of his way.

"You know" says Elsa "for him and the people affected … it's my fault … so it becomes my fault" she sighs "I've seen enough."

Elsa lets go of my hand once again and walks to her bed. She shows signs of discomfort as she climbs on the bed. I don't want to leave her alone.

"Elsa?" I help her so she finally concludes her attempts to get into a comfortable position "for how long will you be away?"

I am standing to her right, my left hand on her left shoulder and my right hand on her right arm. I guess it's because I don't want to let go of her.

"A few weeks, a month, maybe a little more. Why?"

"That's so long" too long "what would you say if I found a way to go with you?"

"I'd love to" Elsa smiles as she takes my right hand onto hers "more than anything" her voice changes, her gaze stun me with it's perplexing nature once again … and I like it a little too much.

We stay like this for a while …

Just looking and smiling at each other …

Her eyes on mine …

My eyes on Hers …

That is until some noises come from the other side of the doors, that makes the both of us look at it's direction trying to figure out what it's source might be.

The door swings open and we can see Kristoff looking to his side, into the hallway, his voice interrogating.

"So, this is where Anna is?"

I feel somewhat disturbed by his interruption, because that wasn't polite, because Elsa needs rest, because he … ruined the moment …

I look at Elsa and she looks more confused than anything else.

I look back at Kristoff and it seems he's realized what he's done. His body firm in place, eyes wide and voice in a high pitch, contrasting with its low volume.

"I'm sorry" he says before slowly reverting his steps.

Right before he closes the doors someone stops him. Now the one who opens the doors is Gerda, also wide-eyed.

"I'm so sorry, Queen Elsa" she sounds scared "I tried to warn Mr. Kristoff but it was too late and …"

"It's okay, don't worry" Elsa's words visually calm Gerda down "what is it that he wanted anyway?"

"he …"

"I wanted to …" he scares Gerda with his sudden cut off, the fact that he jumped into the room out of nowhere helped "sorry" he says to her "I just wanted to tell Anna we're ready to go. All the little snow thingies have been rounded up and we're just waiting for you. And after we're done, a full week of romance awaits us" he raises a brow and winks at me.

I … I don't want to leave Elsa's side.

I look at her and she is looking at the floor. I feel her grip tightening around my hand.

I look back at Kristof and see his silly smile as he waits for my say.

"I …" I start to talk and Elsa looks at me, making me look at her as well "I'll be there" for a brief moment I can see my words upsetting Elsa but I guess she is simply mirroring my expression.

Kristoff seems oblivious that by his response.

"Okay, we'll be waiting" his voice rings cheerful as he leaves.

"Gerda" Elsa calls, though her eyes are still on mine" help Kristof making sure everything is set.

"As you wish, my queen" Gerda closes the doors as she leaves.

We are left alone once again.

"Well …" Elsa sighs "since you are going with him I guess this is good bye" it seems like it's a struggle for her to hold a half smile, but again it might be her mirroring me.

I don't want Elsa to leave … I don't want her to leave me …

I must do something.

"At what time will the ship be leaving?"

"Not long before dusk. Why?"

"I'm going with you …"

"But …"

"I'll get the Snowgies to the palace and by my calculations I can arrive here at about noon or something."

"But Kristof …"

"I think he would understand me wanting to take care of you …"

Elsa gives a smile and for a quick moment she bites her bottom lip and that makes face burn, practically.

"plus" I continue "I think he can survive a few weeks without me around."

What I mean to say is that I don't know how I'd survive a month without Elsa.

"well" Elsa says "if that's what you really want I'd love for you to come."

Elsa brings my hand closer to her face. Her warm breathing against the back of my hand gives me goosebumps. Her lips press against almost the same spot. It's a quick kiss but it's enough to make my soul tremble.

She then proceeds to press my hand against her cheek and right after closes her eyes, sighs and smile. She seems as lost in the moment as I am.

When she opens her eyes again they find mine with ease and that something else is there again … and it intensifies … and bites her bottom lip again … she closes her eyes once again and cuddles my hand in such a way I can't see her face.

But suddenly her skin turns cold, she slowly lets go of my hand and simply stares ahead as if she had remembered or come to the realization of something. Her voice is soft but in it there is a subtle hint of hurt.

"I … you … they are waiting for you …"

Elsa lays on the bed, her back turned to me.

"Elsa?"

"It's the cold, that's all" her voice muffled by the blanket she put on top of her, almost covering her entire face.

Before I could investigate any further a few knocks echo throughout the room and Gerda's worried voice follows.

"Princess Anna, the little snow creatures are getting impatient. Please, come with me if you will.

I feel confused, but I decide to go with Gerda, maybe Elsa just needs some time to rest.

When I get to the sled Kristof and Kai are containing the Snowgies.

"Oh" Kristof has noticed me "let's go then?" his voice shows his distress.

He puts the last one on the extra kart, turns to me and starts to walk in my direction, he looks at my side and that makes him question me.

"Did you grab one too? Is there one we missed?"

I look down to see a few snow flakes on the hand Elsa had held. I look back at the bath I've just trailed questioning if the cold I felt was also because of a tear Elsa shed, and if so … why?

A whole day passes by and I couldn't have longed more to be back after everything. I don't want to recollect these last few hours. All I want is to enjoy these next few weeks, just me and my sister exploring our neighboring countries.

I look at the doors that stand between me and my sister and as the tip of my fingers touch the doorknob, for some reason, I feel reluctant to twist it. Maybe because deep down I know all I feel like now is hugging her and … crying …

That's not what she needs though. She is still recuperating and the last thing I want is to trouble her with petty complaints right before her voyage.

I grab the doorknob, close my eyes and take a deep breath. I do my best to recollect myself. I prepare a fake smile and enter, fearing I wouldn't do it if I were to wait more.

I'm greeted with Elsa's puzzled look. I guess I might've made some noise when holding the nob before entering, maybe I should've knocked. But as I see her the only thing I can understand is my longing for Elsa's presence and that makes me not think straight.

When Elsa realizes it's she smiles at me and suddenly I don't need to fake a smile anymore, Elsa's smile makes truly happy. Her smile … moves me …

Elsa is just where I left her, sitting on her bed, covered from the waist down by her blanket. Her voice is cheerful.

"I'm so glad you came!" she reaches out for me with her right hand "come here" she moves her legs so I have enough room to sit on the bed, right in front of her.

"You wouldn't get rid of me that easily" I say while walking towards her and making sure my right hand grabs the one she's held up.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it or decided otherwise" I feel a light twitch on her grasp.

"Never …" our gazes locked on each other's.

I sit as close to her as I can. My mind screams that I need to be close to her but her voice tranquilizes me.

"the ship is being stocked, still. I didn't think you'd come this early" I only hope this conversation won't go to where I think it will "so, how was your trip?" damn it.

I think I might cry if I don't manage to contain myself

"we …" I try to keep my mind on the positive " went by a faster route so we would reach the palace sooner. Olaf told our story to the snowgies on the way up, apparently we are the best singers you and me" she laughs a little "and on the way up, as we passed the Wandering Oaken I made Kristof told the owner he was sorry for calling him a crook … and breaking into his house with a reindeer" Elsa takes her free hand to right in front of her mouth hiding some of her smile as she laughs, but I can see a little of her perfect white teeth surrounded by her red lips "some time after we are going through the part in which we were attacked by wolves and to distract them Olaf threw some of the sticks we would use to make a fire, but wouldn't you know it, he threw his own arm, and there we go look for it …"

"But the wolves?" Elsa asks with clear worry on her tone.

"Once we stopped we realized they were no match for the snowgies" Elsa's expression eases "soon it got dark and we set up the camp … the …" I sigh and Elsa notices my brief pauses but thankfully says nothing "next morning, this morning I mean, we delivered them to the palace and returned …"

"Anna … did someth …"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you" not now "Olaf named all the snowgies" damn the tear that strolls down my left cheek "the majority of them with snow themed names" my voice is barely audible at this point.

Elsa's look of preoccupation is welcomed at the same time it isn't. I hug her tight, my face resting on her chest, now wet because of the tear I've shed. I feel her resting her face on top of my head, her left hand run through my hair until she has a nice grip on my head while her hand goes right under my right arm. Her embrace makes me feel safe … safe enough to let it all out.

"I also forgot tell" it's a real struggle to push the words out of my mouth while at the same time keeping my cry in "how much I missed you" I try to calm myself but all I can do is breath heavily "how much I wanted you there with me after … after Kristoff and I had a fight …"

"Wh … what happened?" her voice is a little shaky, but I guess she is doing a better job at holding back the tears than I am.

I hug her tighter and she does the same to me, enabling me to her the beating of her heart. I sigh in response for the tranquility the sound of Elsa's most nourishing embrace provides. I wait a little to enjoy this sensation some more before talking.

"We …" force it all out, cry and all "we were about to go to sleep and he asked why I didn't want to sleep in the same tent he was going to. I shrugged it off, saying I sleep better by myself" what I really mean is that I sleep better with elsa "the next morning, right before we were to enter the palace he tried to kiss me, but hadn't realized it, my mind had wandered, and after I mindlessly evade his kiss he starts to question me about what we, he and I, meant to me. Before I knew it, we were fighting, I refused going with him up to the ice palace and when he came back I simply told him I wanted to come back … I …"

"Hey …"

Elsa distances me from her, holding my shoulders. It frustrates me because now she can see my red eyes and ugly crying face. But when I look at her I see frozen tear on her cheeks.

She places both hand on my cheeks, cupping my face. With her thumbs she wipes the tears on my eyes. I close my eyes in odd delight from her touch. After I open them I look for hers. For a brief moment only my light crying hiccups can be heard, but they very slowly diminish as Elsa's compassionate look tranquilize me further and further.

"Don't worry" Elsa says " I'm here now …"

I let out a quick laugh and smile. Only Elsa makes me smile this easily.

"Plus" she continues "I think it's common for couples to argue every now and then. Shows they are trying, I guess …" another tear starts to slide down her face but before it could fall it freezes.

Elsa's words make my smile go away, not because it rationalizes the argument but because I wasn't trying to fix something …

Her words make me think of things I wanted to forget, they make me face the fact that I didn't want to argue, that I wanted leave instead of learn, that maybe I don't … love Kristoff …

"But" I fear my future words, my voice comes out shaky "what if … I don't want to try?"

"I'm not sure … I simply couldn't know … but something I can guarantee you is this … I'll always be right here for you …"

It feels like that's all I ever needed to hear … to hear from Elsa she'll be there for me …

I smile again, showing all the glee I feel around Elsa, and she smiles back at me with the same intensity. Looking at her eyes feels like gazing at a calm and deep lake with the purest water surrounded but the serenest frozen land.

Elsa continues talking.

"Okay?" I nod my head "so now …" she brings her face very close to mine, her lips less than an inch above my nose bridge "… no …" Elsa kisses between my brows, I close my eyes to better process the jolt of refreshing, calming and warm energy her tender kiss sent through my body "… more …" I move slightly forward anticipating her next kiss and before long I feel her lips lightly press against my right eyelid and the sensations intensifying "… tears …" I go a little further and once again feel her lips, on my left eyelid now, and with it that delightfully mind-numbing warmth.

I open my eyes to see Elsa's beautiful face blushing …

Her breathing is heavier … not unlike mine …

Her deep blue eyes are on mine … and that thing behind her eyes … that thing that shakes my core … it's stronger now …

Elsa kisses my nose bridge …

… then the tip of my nose …

… then … my upper lip …

Her right hand slides to the back of my neck and her right now lies on the back of my head.

… And then …

She kisses me …

… and I kiss her back …

Our movements are harmonious. I bring my body closer to hers. I close my eyes and everything gets more intense. My hands go for the back of her neck. I don't understand what is happening, all I know it's too good and overwhelming for it to be possible to be rationalized now. With time the kiss gets hotter yet not erratic. The sensation of her lips pressing against mine is singular. The taste of her mouth is magnificent. Her tongue dancing with mine is marvelous. The sound of my heart beating would be maddening if I didn't know what it was beating for. I don't know for how long we've been like this all I know is that it feels like days … and at the same time not long enough.

The both of us slowly stop and move back a little and open our eyes.

The realization hits me like a powerful wave in a stormy day …

It was Elsa's mouth, Elsa's tongue, Elsa's lips …

My sister …

Our eyes wide-opened, the cold air in the room reflecting the shivers I feel. I guess Elsa feel just as I do if her panicking face is anything to go by.

I get up in a spasm. Elsa's scared gaze onto mine as mine is on hers.

"Elsa … ?!" I can't make any sense of anything, I'm not thinking straight, I start to walk backwards, going for the door.

"Anna …" I think Elsa is just as confused as I am.

I turn and run not knowing to where … not caring to where … I just … need space …

Aimlessly running through the hallways of the castle brought me to one of the watchtowers. I sit on the floor, my back against the tainted glass panel that reaches the floor, as I notice it gives a perfect view of the ship being stocked for Elsa's voyage.

I put my head on my hands and … try to make sense out of what has just happened. A few hours pass, and I barely notice.

The wind is blowing hard and cold, and I have a guess as to why.

I get up, lean against the railings and watch the ship stocking finish. Maybe, if I give my mind some rest, things will get clearer. If only life was willing to give me as much. Elsa shows up from behind the buildings surrounding the harbor. The people she nears salute her. She stops and talks to some, I assume. But right before she boards the ship she stops and looks around.

I wander if she is looking for me, since I can't make out what she is looking towards exactly. But when her head is facing my general direction she stops. It makes me stand straight, if it's me she seeks, she's found me.

I remember how happy she got when I told her I … would go with her … that is, not more then I got by going with her …

She stands there a little longer, maybe waiting for me to signal her … or maybe that's just me projecting a little too much …

She turns, boards the ship and as soon as she is out of view I drop to my knees and start crying … hard …

I don't know for how long I've been here but when I manage to calm myself and look up the ship is way off into the distance.

I climb down the tower and as I'm on my way to my room Kai sees me and calls my attention.

"Princess Anna … are you okay?"

"Yes …" I don't feel like making eye contact with anyone "but … I won't be having anything to eat this evening …"

"But …"

"Thank you, Kai …"

"As you wish, Princess Anna …"

I then resume making my way to my room.

It's late at night, I've stay for hours lying on my bed, but I can't bring myself to sleep. I get up and start wandering around the silent castle, I haven't been able to rest my mind nor processes what had happened, I'm willing to try anything. Before long I find myself in front of Elsa's room. I try to keep walking ahead but I can't.

I open the doors wandering if I will see Elsa on the other side, even though I know I won't.

The room is as expected, clean and without any sign of Elsa, except for one thing.

I walk closer to the bed, remembering what had happened on it. Though my mind has dissented on a spiral of confusion, since I'm on the sight of it's dissent at least everything wrings the same tone.

I lay on Elsa's bed and cover myself, completely immersed on the only thing that is a direct reminder of her … her delightful perfume … embedded on her …

When I realize it's morning and there are people calling my name.

I look around certifying myself it wasn't just a crazy dream, but no … it's all true …

I hear my name once again, closer this time.

"I'm here!" I cream as loud as I can considering I'm barely awake.

"Princess?" Kai's voice is followed by a few knock checking if it's really here where I am.

"Yes"

"Mr. Kristoff is here to see you … what do you want me to do?"

"Tell him … I'll talk to him soon …"

I get up, dress myself properly and go find Kristoff.

I listen to Kristoff's apologies, at least the bits I manage to pay attention to. He is really saddened by our argument. He is really sorry. He asks if he can make it up to me by taking me out or something.

I agree to go.

That's not what I want … I'm sorry, Kristoff …

That's not what I want … but maybe that's what I need …

A sense of normality.

Or at least a distraction.

* * *

Since we all know how all Frozen characters look I think it's interesting to show how I intended the new fanfic characters (some would call them my OCs) to look.

So here is Adrian Rubel, the business owner:

deviantart_com/im-just-another-one/art/Adrian-Rubel-762009845

Also …

Here is an illustration of a scene from this chapter I did.

Hope you like it.

deviantart_com/im-just-another-one/art/Elsanna-New-Cover-762013570

(yes, i used "_" instead of "." in the links 'cuz the site was deleting the link and i am too stupid to know why and too lazy to look it up)


	7. Hopefully Time Will Heal

Visiting other countries and assuring businesses took more time than I thought it would. But with it all behind me I can simply enjoy the cold breeze and the orange tinge of dusk. But with returning home comes one troubling matter, the one reason I didn't mind that much my voyage lasting longer.

As Arendelle slides into view from behind the mountains I come to the realization that I have consequences to suffer because of what I made. Until mere moments ago I'd think to myself that I should keep that kiss away from my thoughts, that it was pointless to think of it because there was nothing I could do about it.

... Though I can't deny the inability to banish that kiss from my mind, I kept trying...

… But maybe I couldn't make myself forget ... Because I don't want to ... and that is what truly scares me …

I start to remember that day, the way her lips pressed against mine fitting together perfectly, the taste of her tongue as mine rolled around it...

I've just realized the tip of my fingers are touching my lips ...

… Remembering how it felt to kiss my sister ... shouldn't bring this kind of a response.

But what really brings me distaste towards my actions is … the scared face anna dawned ... The betrayal she might have felt after without warning I put on her all my tainted thoughts turned into motion ...

After the ship is docked, Kai comes to me explaining all that had transpired while I was away but before I can mentally calculate how much time I will take to get through all this work there is something I need to know.

"Where is my sister?" Kai looks at me almost with a shocked face since my question has nothing to do with the matter he was talking about.

"Princess Anna has gone on a trip with Mr. Kristoff" that's comforting in a few ways, but haunting in others "they left this morning" Kai concludes before I ask.

Kai resumes his list as we walk to the caste. Revising what has been dealt with the other countries goes by quickly on my mind, I think I might have grown accustomed to business talk after almost two months of that and nothing more.

After eating something, by insistence of Gerda, I retreat to my quarters. Everything is as clean as expected, a huge contrast compared to how I felt when I last was in it. I ready myself for some longed after sleep. I transit around my room calmly now, nothing like when I last did so, frantic, wide-eyed, trying to convince myself I hadn't pushed my sister farther away than I ever thought I could …

I stop on my tracks and try to focus on what I do instead. Otherwise I won't be able to sleep, just like many nights in the last few weeks.

But I guess fate wants me awake this night as well since it isn't until I am properly settled under the blankets and facing up I take notice of something.

"Anna's perfume" I say to myself.

I turn to my side and squeeze the pillow lightly against my face certifying myself of what I already knew.

It brings me back to that moment. I had Anna's face cupped by my hands, hear big, bright blue eyes contrasting with her red cheeks and nose because of her crying. Though she was just as beautiful as she has ever been her expression was one of hurt and I knew I would do anything to make her pain go away and the only way I came up with was to demonstrate all the love I had for her … or that's just me making excuses for what I did …

But the fact is … Anna fled … and I couldn't expect anything less …

She was in a moment of need, of vulnerability, and I did that to her … I kissed my sister … passionately.

I simply wish I knew where that urge to, but mainly the satisfaction of, kissing Anna came from.

That's why I'm heading to that tailor shop tomorrow morning. Seeing those two women kissing is the farthest back I can recall feeling this confused. Maybe they might help.

I don't know if it's the chance of getting my thoughts straightened or Anna's perfume, but I haven't felt this comfortable before sleep in weeks.

* * *

I wake up right before dawn. I put on normal clothes and a dark brown cloak instead of my ice dress since I don't feel like drawing attention to myself. I explain to Gerda I'm heading to the town to deal with something and that I don't want the guards coming with me. Her worried gaze doesn't take my mind of my plan.

I leave the castle feeling thankful for my late return to the kingdom since because of it many meetings were rescheduled. I still have a lot to do but a half hour or so won't hurt.

After I walk up the steps to reach the door of the tailor shop I hesitate to twist the doorknob right away, maybe because after I do so there might be no more hope of understanding what happened to my mind but only the outcome of trying to do so.

I muster the courage and enter only to be met by no one behind the counter. Still, the bell hung over the door alerts of my presence and I can hear a voice coming from behind the shop.

"I'll be right there" a slightly low pitch feminine voice echoes.

Now that I'm sure I'm not breaking in I look around examining the rolls of different colors and qualities of fabric and between them there are mannequins wearing beautiful dresses, all with something different that make them not quite traditionally Arendellian.

I spot a beautiful dark blue satin like fabric on the far-right corner of the shop. I approach it and hold one of its corners feeling its softness. It makes me want a dress resembling a clear sky night the deep dark blue sky and the stars shining bright. Countless hours of many sleepless nights I've spent looking at the stars these last few weeks more than ever before.

"Hello?" the woman calls from the counter. it appears I've wandered far behind rolls of fabric, out of her line of sight.

"Here" I raise my hand so she could see it above the fabric rolls.

I hear footsteps coming towards me, turning louder and louder just like my heartbeat. The woman stops right behind me and when I do a half turn to my side I see the brunette woman I saw almost two months ago. I feel uneasy at the thought of this being one of the people that can help me make sense on my thoughts.

She is just abought Anna's height, her dark oak color hear wave down to her back. Her face is somewhere between oval and diamond shape, her eyes are big and a very light shade of brown, almost honey like. Her thick rosy lips forming a friendly smile before starting to move.

"Good morning!" her voice is smoother and with a higher pitch, definitively not the woman who called me a few moments back. I believe the blonde woman is on the counter then. The brunette proceeds talking "Welcome to our tailor shop. How can I help you?"

It appears the hood of the cloak prevented her from realizing who I am.

"I'd like to commission a dress for -" as I start to move my arms as to remove the hood something stops me.

The door swings open abruptly and looking through the gaps between the rolls of fabric and mannequins I can see it's Adrian, the man that made a scene the day before I left, who entered the store. His voice echoed loudly.

"Good morning, Cathrine. Where is Emma?" he nears the counter becoming hidden from me by the fabric rolls and mannequins between us.

"She just left to buy something" the woman on the counter, Cathrine I presume, sounds annoyed.

I look to my side to see the brunette, who I also presume is Emma, dodging Adrian's line of sight by seamlessly nearing a supporting beam.

"Well" Adrian, audibly frustrated, continues "I was going to talk about how no one came to me to rebook my meeting with the queen, since she is back and all"

"Well" says Cathrine "one would expect the queen to have much to do, considering her latency in returning" I sense a convinced tone in her voice.

"Of course …" says Adrian as he heads for the door "that you as an Arendellian wouldn't understand"

"I …" Cathrine starts but is interrupted but the door slamming shut "… guess…" a few more seconds of silence pass, I look to the brunette as she is trying to peak across the shop "Emma, he is gone".

"wow" Emma says before sighing, relieved. She then turns to her side going around the pillar and talks to Cathrine "that was close huh?" and laughs a little.

"Yeah, imagine half an hour of complaining again" says Cathrine in a playful tone.

"No, thanks" Emma laughs.

I can't help but find it comedic to think the presence of Adrian annoys other people as much as it does me.

"one second" says Cathrine "and I'll be there with you".

"So …" Emma faces me once again "I'm so sorry for this" she has a smile on her face once again "so, where were we … and, oh my god, you are the queen …" her eyes widen, and she doesn't know what to say, it even looks like she is frozen in place.

Cathrine comes from behind the supporting beacon laughing. She is the blonde who I saw kissing the brunette weeks ago. Her blonde short hair can barely cover her heart shaped face. Her lips are almost as thick as the brunette's though her mouth is a little narrower. Her eyes green eyes search around to understand what the brunette was talking about.

"Who is wha …" she realizes it's me, stops and bows her head "my queen" she then pokes Emma so she would bow as well.

I put down the hood of my cloak, which is something I should've done before. I had put it on in the first place so I wouldn't draw attention while I was coming here, not so these two women wouldn't know me.

"Please" I say "there is no need for that"

They raise their heads and look at each other probably asking themselves what I could be doing in their shop. They face me attentively.

"How can we help you, Queen Elsa?" Cathrine asks

"I'd like to commission Christmas dresses, for me and Princess Anna" they look at each other once again, but pleasantly surprised, this time "I must leave soon, for I have much to do, as you said" I say as I look at the blonde and smile and soon enough her cheeks turn red but she doesn't lose her composure "So, when possible, come to the castle so you can take measurements and do whatever else you need".

"D- does…" Emma stutters a little "your majesty" her face turns red as I gaze at her "have something specific in mind?"

"I have a few concepts I would love to discuss, but something I really want" I turn to the side once again "is my dress made from this dark blue satin fabric" I say while putting my hand on top of the dark satin fabric roll.

Busy days pass by and Anna has yet to return home. When I first found out about her absence, I was somewhat relieved for I could get climatized to my life again and prepare myself to whatever would unfold when she was to come back, but as a soldier that marches to battle for too long the adrenaline wears off and there is only tiredness and dread.

These last few days I've done little more than reading and signing papers and at this point they've all turned into a big blur in my mind. The knocks on the door of my study are more than welcomed.

"Queen Elsa?" Gerda makes herself known.

"Yes, Gerda"

"Miss Emma is here to see you"

"Great" the mind numbness is replaced by nervousness in the blink of an eye "take her to the library and tell her I'll be there soon" I bolt up right and start to organize the paperwork on my desk nervously, reflecting the realization that my 'plan' is to be put to the test. I thought this couple could help me reason my thoughts but maybe …

What is done is done, Emma is waiting, I've commissioned her a dress and hopefully I can use this opportunity to get some closure.

I get to the library, open the door and there is Emma, anxiously standing next to the couch in the orange tinged room. She is looking at the fireplace while holding a purse, her hair tied up.

"Good evening, Emma" she looks at me, startled by my voice "how are you?" she stares at me wide eyed for a short while.

"Oh, g- good evening, Queen Elsa" she bows her head.

"Please" I smile at her "no need for formalities".

Before long I'm standing on a stool and Emma is taking my measurements. My arms are stretched out wide, Emma's movements are steady, and her manner is very professional.

"So" I call her attention "you are not from Arendelle, then?"

"Well" she looks up at me for a brief moment before turning her attention to the measuring tape once again "no, I'm from Corona, originally"

"And what made you come to Arendelle?"

"Cathrine"

"Your business partner?"

"Yes … my business partner" she smiles to herself but soon the smile fades and she gazes at me almost too quickly to notice

"Too bad she couldn't come, huh?!".

"yeah, too many commissions this time of year".

"For how long gave you known each other?" I try to make a connection but not to come out too abrupt as doing so.

"She and I met" she stays silent for a couple of seconds trying to recall her memories I think "about eight years ago in Weselton. Both our families moved there long before that, seeking work since it was the height of the trade relationship between Arendelle and Weselton. Life was …" she takes her time picking the words "not good, to say the least" she laughs to herself, lost in her memories "but I guess we had each other … and … done!"

She steps back and I realize she just finished taking my measurements.

"Oh, great" I step down, hiding my frustration towards the sighs of my time running out. I walk around the center table surrounded by sofas from three if its sides "please, sit down" I say gesturing to the sofa opposite to the one I'm about to sit on.

"Sure" she starts to make her way to the spot I pointed to, but something stops her in her tracks, she looks confused at me "but, aren't I supposed to take princess Anna's measurements as well?"

"Oh, yeah, I mean, I thought that by now she would've returned from her trip, but …" I start to fear she might not want to return, but I do my best not to let it show.

"It's okay, if we just focus on your dress first, and then hers, there won't be any problems or delays" she says as she resumes her walking.

She sits down, grabs a notebook from her purse and starts to write something on it.

"So" I say but the majority of her attention is still directed to the notebook she holds and what she is making on it "you two know Adrian, it seems?"

"oh, Adrian. Not the most fun person to be around, I must say. I mean he was one of our most frequent clients for the longest time. I guess he felt more comfortable with us since we lived in Weselton or something. or maybe he simply paid us well enough for the clothes he commissioned he knew we would never leave him lacking attention. But lately he has avoided buying from us so his presence became somewhat less bearable" Emma smiles to herself.

"And why is that?"

"not … sure" she finishes writing and smiles at me "so, I've worked on a few concepts following your requests" she hands me the notebook she has on her "and here they are"

I take a good look on them. They are really well designed, but soon enough I see the one that is closest to what I had imagined, a one-piece dark blue dress with ice crystals on the torso, a cape and snowflakes patterns on the sleeves and hem.

"This one" I point and say in a low volume without realizing, I recompose myself and proceed talking "I'd only have a few things changed"

"And what would those be?" her attention is heightened.

"two things: first, I'd like if there weren't this many crystals on the torso, it almost looks like a corset; and second: the snowflake patterns, I think I'd look better if they were dimmer overall, of a darker and greyer shade of blue that it is depicted here" I try my best not to sound too bossy.

"I see" she looks serious "if I may …" her arm is stretched I my direction as she requested the notebook I hold "so I can write everything down"

"Oh, sure" I hand it to her.

"Lemme just…" she write things down before turning to me "okay ... Soon we'll reach you to make actual and conceptual adjustments if necessary" she smile.

"Excellent" we stay smiling at each other, I think she might …

"so … I guess that's it …" I knew it, I must do something.

"I saw you and Cathrine kiss" she freezes and looks at me as if I was holding a knife and was about to stab her, and that makes me have second thoughts about this approach.

I'm sorry for this Emma, but I had to push myself and be this direct. I had no idea how to do it otherwise.

"W-what? Excuse me, I think you might be …" she again starts to move as to get up from the sofa, her face still dawns a frightened look.

"It was very early in the morning on Anna's birthday and I saw from a far you two kissing right outside your shop's door"

"I … we …" she talks slowly, her expression changes to one I've sadly seen before "what are you going do to?" she looks at me like my people did so when they knew of my powers, as if I'd hurt therm. she gazes down, her voice has fear in it "Banish us? Jail us?"

"What? No. I would never" I say, her gaze returning to me "I just wanted to talk. Listen …" I lean forward "when I saw you two kiss it … it made me feel … made me think of things I had never considered. I felt confused and … and I thought you could help. I understand you are uncomfortable, but I assure you I haven't told and will never tell anyone about you and Cathrine. All I want to ask of you is a few minutes of your time … you can leave at any moment if you so wish, but …" as I talk her expression eases a little and she returns to sitting normally.

The room stays silent for a few moments and I start to regret my actions, but I should be used to it by now. Emma's eyes go from one point to another in a quick fashion, as she processes what is happening.

"Su- sure" she looks at me, still visibly uncomfortable "I mean I'll help as I can".

Her words tranquilize me to a great extent. I sigh before proceeding talking.

"So … what is it that … you two have? This relationship …" there is no hiding the fact that I don't know what words to use.

"We … are a couple …"

"As in …" she sound reluctant on talking, if I could undo my actions …

"As in being together, kissing and … so on" her face turns red "We've been together for about a few years now and … that's pretty much it".

"Why do you feel like you need to hide?"

"Because we do need to hide" I look puzzled at her "back, in Weselton we would get thrown in jail had anyone found out, that is if we were lucky".

"That's horrible" this thought really stuns me for a moment.

"Yeah" she retracts her lips and looks to her side.

"But there aren't any laws such as those in Arendelle".

"But we…" she sighs before organizing her words in her head "learned not to trust people" she smiles at her thoughts "If anyone asks we normally say we are cousins whose husbands died at sea and decided to opened a tailor shop together. I mean …" she slowly starts to laugh to herself and I end up following suit "I'd say it is less red flag'ish then Cathrine's option of telling the person to take care of their" she does air quotes "fucking business" we start to laugh even more.

"I'd say so".

We manage to calm ourselves, so we can proceed the conversation.

"But …" I try to steer the conversation to where I want it to go "what I really want to know is" she looks more focused now "how was it when you realized you felt the way you feel about each other"

"I felt" she takes her time, going through her memories, I think "surprise, in a way, because for all my life I was taught I was meant to grow up, marry a man, have children and become a housewife. It's not hard to guess I wasn't thrilled about that idea but that's what I learned as reality. But when a Cathrine came into my life, I developed really strong feelings for her, and it took a lot of thinking to realize what these feelings were. It made me go crazy, almost. For a while I thought there was something wrong with me, because what I was feeling went against many things I had as truth and still this feeling trumped them all. But one day Cathrine said something that made sense of all of that, she said 'sometimes you are told things are true, you are told these things your entire life, by people you are supposed to trust … but that doesn't mean they are right' then I realized … I only thought I should live my life a certain way because other people said so … and not a reason more. I realized that Cathrine meant a whole lot more then the prospect of a 'normal and good' life … wow" she smiles at me "I talked a lot, but I don't think I said anything helpful" she laughs a little.

"Actually, it was very helpful" my voice comes out in a lower volume and more serious tone since I've been analyzing her words.

"But I think that what you meant you wanted to know is how I realized I felt 'passionate' feelings for her. Since, one can love, want to spend time with, want to protect someone else but that doesn't mean they should be a couple. I mean you could love anyone, but 'being in love' is different, right?".

"Yes" my attention heightens and my eyes widen a little, I had to control so not to sound desperate.

"I guess I became certain of what I felt when I realized I … wanted to kiss her. From the bottom of my heart I realized I not only loved her, but when I saw her near me I wanted to feel her mouth on mine just as much as I wanted to stay up late with her talking and holding hands".

"I … see …"

Before I could link her words to my thoughts we hear knocks coming from the door. We look for its source.

"Excuse me, Queen Elsa" Gerda's words call our attention "dinner will be ready in about half an hour"

"Thanks, Gerda" I say.

"Oh, my" Emma sounds surprised "It's late, I have to go"

"are you sure?"

"I really should be going back home now" she gets up and I follow suit "It was quite interesting … this conversation we had ... hope I helped in what ever it was you were confused about" she smiles at me.

"You sure did" I smile back.

Emma bows and leaves.

So … is this how it feels like to have conversations with a friend?

I sit down and stay like so a little longer, hearing the snapping of the wood while I see the shadows dancing on the walls. While I try to process Emma's words and how they relate to what I feel I end up thinking of Anna. Normally I would avoid it but I don't know if it's the orange tinge on the walls or the warmth from the fire burning not far from me, but it almost feels like she is here … and that feels comforting.

Though it feels peaceful here, before long I decide to get up since I don't want to leave Gerda waiting. I walk through the corridors with a confidence I haven't felt in a while.

I even hear Olaf's voice … Olaf?!

I run and look around the corner only to see Olaf walking alongside and talking to one of the guards. Could it be?

My mind goes numb and I turn around to head to where I was going. My gaze on the floor, moving from one side to another as I ponder my possible actions. The confidence I had mustered now replaced with the utmost uncertainty.

I hear footsteps nearing me but I only notice them when it's too late. As I'm about to look up I am embraced by no other than Anna herself.

She holds me tight and she … is crying. Her face is against my chest and her hands are pulling on my dress as to tighten her grip I think

"Elsa! you're here" her voice barely audible.

I'm simply in shock. I can't say anything. This if the farthest possible of a scenario I could've imagined taking place.

"You are here, you are here, you are here …" she says between sniffs and hiccups while I managed to awkwardly place my arms around her and we stay like this for a moment "you took so long to return" my grip on her tightens since I now understand why she is like this "just like Mom and Dad … I couldn't bare losing you too, I …" she distances herself a little to look at me.

She dawns a look of hurt … that is for barely a second. Right after that her expression eases, that is but for her eyes … that look widened at me. I think she remembered … the last time we where this close … the last time she came crying to me … the last time we had each other in an embrace …

She lets loose of her grip on me and I do the same with her. She steps back, looks down to her hand and tries to talk.

"I … I mean …" I think she feels embarrassed, at least I know I do, also she might be trying to calm herself since she still hiccups lightly every few seconds or so.

"there were many delays and …" she doesn't look at me and silence sets in for a few moments before I try to banish it to where it came "Anna …"

Anna looks at me, her eyes emanating hurt and confusion as if she was lost. The blue of her eyes contrasting with the red of her crying. The path her tears had taken across her face have yet to dry.

Olaf comes from around the corner filled with enthusiasm.

"It's snowing!" his arms are wide opened, directing our attention to the outside of a window, that is until he notices there is something wring "what is happening here?"

He points back and forth between me and Anna and she dries her face with the palm of her hands as she talks.

"Nothing, Olaf. It's just … that I missed Elsa so much" she smiles, probably to tranquilize Olaf.

"oh!" he exclaims before looking at me "Elsa is back!" he screams, gesturing towards me with both his hands.

"Hello, Olaf" I barely have enough time to recompose myself and talk before Olaf jumps to my arms and hugs me "wow, I got you".

Olaf drops to the floor, grabs my hand and then Anna's before saying what his plan is.

"Let's commemorate Elsa's return by playing in the snow!" Olaf says as he starts to drag us out.

"But, Olaf …" Anna's objection doesn't surprise me, as I look at her she avoids my gaze looking at Olaf the moment she realizes I'm looking at her "there isn't enough snow for us to play" her eyes turn to my direction so fast it's almost unnoticeable.

"Elsa will make more" says Olaf, joyfully.

Anna might've realized Olaf isn't dropping it.

The moment we get to the courtyard Kristoff and Sven are leaving but Olaf is not about to let them miss out on the fun.

As soon as Olaf returns with Kristoff and Sven the snow that fell from the sky gets outshined by my powers and soon enough a snow ball fight ensues. Olaf's cheerfulness rubbed off on me, but it appears to have missed Anna, since she simply is sitting at the stairs.

But without realizing I positioned myself in front of Anna according to Kristoff and Sven. Kristoff covered Sven's antlers with snow and with one swing they practically buried us both in snow. I looked back unsure of what I was going to see.

Anna looked at me a little serious for a moment but soon she stars to laugh at me and joins us.

We stay like this for a few minutes and it starts to feel like me and Anna will be … okay.

"YEY!" Olaf screams as he throws a snow ball high up.

"Queen Elsa!" Gerda calls my attention from right out the door "dinn-" the ball Olaf threw fell on Gerda's head "-er is ready" and then she retrieves, keeping her posture as only she can.

Everyone stays quiet until Gerda is out of sight. Only then we glance at each other and start to laugh.

"That" Kristoff tries to recuperate his breath "was a good one, Olaf".

"Thanks" Olaf promptly responds as he starts to make another snow ball so he can repeat his feat.

"but I guess me and Sven should be going, right buddy? 'Yup!'" Kristoff changes his tone giving voice to the emotively smiling reindeer next to him.

"oh …" Olaf looks disappointed for a moment, the snow ball falls from his hand "I'll grab something to eat, then" his smile is back where it was.

"A-" Anna stutters and glances at me so fast I'm saying to thing I'm seeing things "are you sure?" she approaches Kristoff.

Of course, she wouldn't feel comfortable being by herself around me. I mindlessly turn my back to them and cross my arms, but I still look back at them.

"Yeah, there are many festivity preparations I need to help my family with".

"I … understand"

Kristoff's body language is inviting her to a kiss and it almost seems like she hesitates, but I'm sure it's because of her displease with his leave. The sound of their kiss bugs me more than I'd like to admit, but it's too quick to make me unable to hide my distaste.

The young man and his steed start making their way to the gates after saying their good byes to us and soon enough as everyone leaves me and my sister alone the screaming silence sets in.

I look at her and she looks at me … and it feels like an ice wall grows between us … but the only things between us are the snow flakes that dance around us.

The doors swing opened and Anna and I look at their direction to see Olaf coming from behind them.

"Come on, you guys!" he gestures for us to enter.

I quickly glance over to Anna and she does her best to shake off the awkwardness and smile at Olaf who continues talking.

"They made Chocolate cake for us since it's the first time you've been together since Elsa left!" Olaf joyfully yells.

"We'll -" Anna raises her hand as she starts to talk but Olaf had already turned and left "be right there …" Anna looks at me and I can see she is having trouble holding her smile up "l-let's go … Elsa?".

"Sure…"

So … things, can be as they were … as long as we're not alone with each other …

Anna … I'm so sorry I hurt you.

I swear I'll this.

Cathrine Hildar – blonde

Emma Agathum – Brunette


	8. Intoxicating

I place my temple against the glass and gaze out the window to admire the serene snowflakes dance all the way to the ground becoming part of the white landscape that starts to form at this time of year.

A few meters behind me are Elsa and her new couple of friends. These two women have been around a lot lately, which is not a bad thing, since they are really nice people, but I haven't had any time alone with Elsa since she came back …

Who am I kidding? I've had plenty of opportunities to be alone with Elsa, but it was always easier to have the presence of someone else. We've been spending a lot of time together, but never alone.

Dinners … with Kristoff, Olaf and Sven even …

Mornings … in the council reunions …

Afternoons … with Cathrine and Emma …

But I know how much of this reasoning is pointless. The few times we've been together by ourselves we wouldn't utter a word. I'd assume in her case is out of … regret … but for me … I don't know …

I feel a poke on my shoulder and I look back in the same instance out of surprise.

"Sorry, princess" Cathrine looks apologetic for scaring me but I guess she was calling me for a while now "but what is it that's so interesting out there you were paying attention to?" she smiles as she looks at the same direction I was looking to figure out what was holding my attention.

"Oh, it was nothing, just the winter and its …" she looks at me expecting a continuation "… winteriness" she laughs a little.

"I mean, it is really pretty indeed, it's something I missed when I lived in Weselton" she looks at me and smile friendly "but now, tell us what you think" she motions to the other side of the library where Elsa is standing on a stool, her arms move around a little as she tries on the new dress the couple of women are making her.

It is a really beautiful dress with its deep shade of blue and it's gems, very well fitting her figure … all the curves of her body … and all of that …

Standing right before Elsa is Emma, looking at my sister from top to bottom. It's strange, to see someone this close to my sister gazing at her, analyzing her looks, but Emma soon looks back at me and Cathrine.

"Cat, help me, here" Emma says.

"What is it?" Cathrine walks up to Emma.

I look at Elsa and she does the same to me at the same time, as if we were both asking each other what Emma wants.

"it's just that" Emma stops for a moment "it feels like there is something missing".

"What do you mean?" Cathrine asks "you didn't like it?" Cathrine playfully raises a brow at Emma.

"I'm serious …"

I look at Elsa and her posture is still one of calmness and serenity. With her face on my mind I look out the window once again … just like I used to do at this time of year … for years and years … wishing she was with me … as I would stare out the window her beautiful face would come up on my mind, surrounded by the white and soft snow …

"Got it!" I exclaim, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, which is something I didn't anticipate, making me almost freeze in place.

"Anna?" Elsa makes me resume my thoughts.

"I think I know something that could help"

"What would it be?" Emma asks, her voice with a smidge of frustration.

"What if you put some thick white fur on upper part of the dress, it'll feel like her face is framed by the winter snow or something" I can't hide I don't know much about what I'm talking about.

"That's it!" Emma's voice echoes around the room as she turns to Cathrine.

"That would bring out the color of her skin and …" says Cathrine and it feels like the two of them are in their own world for a moment.

"And that would make it feel more royalty and Christmassy like".

"And we could even cut a little 'V' in the middle of the chest, not losing the sexy factor"

The two women smile and start to walk in different directions, Emma grabs a notebook and starts to add the fur on the concept drawing of the dress while Cathrine grabs a strap of white fur she had on her purse and runs to wrap it around Elsa's shoulders for a preview of how it'll look like. Cathrine is even tall enough not to be bothered by the added height of Elsa because of the stool she stands in.

"Something like this, Princess?" Cathrine asks, her question drawing everyone's attention to me once again.

My sister stands a few meters from me on a stool that might as well be a pedestal, the way my eyes run up her body it feels like I'm looking up the night sky and as I pass the clouds, I expect to see the northern lights but instead see Elsa's face and …

Everyone's looking at me … and I'm all red … redder …

"I-it's …" I start and Elsa looks at me apprehensively "you look … you look beautiful, Elsa".

My sister tenderly smiles at me and her cheeks turn a rose tinge even.

This short break is soon over prompting and Elsa the two tailors to resume their pace.

After a while they discuss some of the little changes they'll make to the queen's dress to work around the new design. There was even enough time to take my measurements.

We are now sat at the sofa chatting.

"So, princess" Emma calls my attention "what would you like in your dress?"

"I'd like something more traditional" I explain to Emma.

She looks a bit frustrated as she looks at Cathrine. I'm a little puzzled as to why so. Cathrine looks at me with a smile of someone holding back a laugh.

"Princess, it's just that Emma …" Cathrine looks at Emma before turning to me again "she doesn't think it's much fun to keep these kinds of things 'traditional'"

"It's just…" Emma tries to explain "I was so interesting making your sister, I mean, the queen's dress I thought …" Emma almost pouts to Cathrine out of frustration.

"Well" I try to remedy the situation "how about something in between, then?"

Emma's eyes light up "I'll do my best" she says.

"I bet I'll be fine" since it's settled I somewhat change the subject "how about you two, what are you going to wear?"

The two women and my sister suddenly look a little bothered at my question.

"We …" Cathrine starts to talk as she looks at Emma before looking at me "aren't going to use anything too special. We aren't going to be around anyway".

I look around, puzzled. My eyes meet my sister's right before she's about to say something.

"Yeah, it seems like I'm spending Christmas eve by myself" she looks down.

"what do you mean?"

"Cathrine and Emma are going to visit Emma's family … in Weselton" Elsa's expression bugs me, I mean … "and you have Kristoff, so …" she closes her eyes and gives me a half-smile, I think so she doesn't look so affected "I'll be alone" when she reopens her eyes they are directed to the ground.

Elsa's hurt … hurts me.

I must do something and just know what …

"When …" I look for the two women sat not far from me when I realize my sister showed no reaction, deep on her thoughts "are you guys going?"

"Next week" Cathrine answers, she seems displeased with the fact at hand.

"I got it!" my volume has risen and that catches my sister's attention "the royal winter lodge, farther north. This weekend!" I quickly look at Elsa to see her reaction.

Elsa's eyes light up at me.

"Could you come?" Elsa's face is one of hopeful apprehension.

"Absolutely!" says Cathrine.

"Sure!" says Emma at the same time "that'd be awesome!" Emma and Cathrine smile at each other.

Elsa stands up.

"it's settled, then" her gaze switching between the three of us "I'll make sure the winter lodge is prepared for the four of us".

Later that week …

With the winter lodge prepared we all gathered at the castle gates. With three horses readied for us, one for me, one for Elsa and another for Emma and Cathrine. we leave just before dawn.

Not too long after the sun light makes itself present, we catch a glimpse of the great winter lodge in the distance.

Second only to the royal castle itself, the winter lodge is the largest building in the country.

As soon as we leave the horses at the stable we head to the entrance. Elsa opens the doors welcoming all inside and everything is just as I remember. To the left is the huge main hall, with a big beautiful fireplace to heat the room when you just want to sit by the fire on one of the several high quality sofas and alike. To the right is the kitchen that just yesterday was preloaded with a variety of food for us. In front of the main doors are the stairs leading to the dormitories. And all the while everything is illuminated in such a way by the tall windows letting in the morning lights … it gets to me.

Elsa tells the couple they could use the first room on the left and they go on their way.

We stay in silence for a moment since our things were already set and there is not a lot more to be done but way the two women return. But it doesn't take long for Elsa to break the silence.

"This place brings me memories" she says as she starts to slowly walk towards the sofas

"Same here" I raise my hand and smile at her as I follow her path.

And we are back to a short quietness again, that is until Elsa turns her body towards me and resumes talking.

"Anna" I look at her big bright eyes gazing into mine as after a two second pause she resumes once again "thank you for proposing all of this, for being here and everything else".

Her words touch me, and I want to say something back, but I can't seem to be able to. I simply smile at her and soon enough she turns to the window again and right after that Emma and Cathrine return from upstairs.

After an entire day of having fun with Elsa, which is something I hadn't done in a while, we ended up drinking and chatting by the fireplace in the main leaving room of the winter lodge.

The two women are sitting on a three-seat sofa across from me and Elsa. Emma is between Cathrine's arms, they both laying on their side occupying the entirety of the sofa, whereas we, Elsa and I, are sat straight, Elsa doing a much better job at it then me, of course, but we always kept a certain distance … though short but there.

Drunken words have been thrown back and forth ceaselessly for hours now that is until somehow Cathrine started telling the story of how she and Emma met. It was an interesting story so we just listened.

"So, after my parents died I had to go live with my aunt in Weselton but we never actually got along. In one of the fights we had she told me to, and I quote, 'get something fucking productive to fucking do'" our drunken selves can't handle her impersonation, causing all of us to laugh "so there I was, wondering the city market, and as I turn a corner a roll of fabric tumbles in front of me. I bend over to grab it and start to look of who dropped it. And there she was, struggling to balance the rest of the fabric rolls on her arms was the most beautiful girl in the world. we looked at each other for a moment and all I could do was stretch my arms out and say 'I'll help you'. When I saw it, I was helping her get the fabric rolls her mother bought back to her home and …" Cathrine say as she gazes and smiles at Emma "the rest is history".

They hug each other tighter for a moment and the room goes silent, but not for long though. Emma gazes at us with an inquisitive look.

"And how about you guys? Oops, I mean, Anna has Kristoff" oh yeah … Kristoff "Do you have someone special, Elsa?" her voice comes out tired like, surely because the wine she drank is finally catching up to her.

Elsa looks visibly stressed by the question … to someone who knows where to look that is … but soon she speaks, her voice clear.

"I … don't …" my chest tightens for reasons I don't undestand "think so"

"But, I mean" Emma proceeds "I get that while you were in Arendelle you only worked and all, but you went on a trip for almost two months, from the day you left you surely met new people and new places … you must've experienced something somewhat romantic.

"Emma …" Cathrine's voice sounds like my father's when I was caught misbehaving.

"Sorry" Emma said as she looks down "I said I wouldn't ask her"

"Actually" Elsa's voice silenced everyone for a moment as we looked at her "yes, I … have …" my attention is completely on Elsa, for some reason I really want know about this though the thought of her being with someone … bugs me.

"And how was it?" Cathrine seems interested to know as well.

"Yeah, tell us!" Emma incentivizes "I mean, only if you want to" with the orange tinge of the room I still can see she got embarrassed for her pushing.

"It's okay. It's just" Elsa sighs and gazes into the crackling fire burning not that far from us "it was a very delicate situation. She was …" I can hear the lightly cheerful motion caused on the women sitting in front of me and Elsa by the word 'she' exiting Elsa's mouth, but I can't look away from her … though, I wander what feeling might it be … the tightening of my chest as Elsa tells how it was to be with someone "she was crying because she had a fight … with her boyfriend. She came to me all confused and afraid, in need of comfort and help but I didn't know what to do, how to help …" my heart skips a beat as I start to connect the dots "all I knew was that all of my heart ached for her in every way and that I would pour on her all of my love if it ment it would make her happy. And that's basically what I did. Without thinking I threw myself onto her wishing that my love would ease her pain, at least that's what I tell myself … in reality …" a single tear slides down Elsa's cheek before freezing in place "that was the most selfish thing I could have ever done. The reality is that if I really loved her" she gazes down to her hands which are tense and glittering due to a thin coat of ice forming on them "I'd have heard her" she tensions her face in an expression of hurt "comforted her" her expression lightly intensifies "done everything I could …" more tears roll as her expression intensifies once again and the room stays quiet "anyway …" Elsa does her best to recuperate "after I kissed her, she … fled … out of hatred, I guess, maybe disgust even … the worst part is that …" a cynical smile taints Elsa's lips "I don't regret doing it. I mean I hate having betrayed her trust … but I can't bring myself to regret the … I mean … am I crazy?" she laughs to herself as if the only other option she had was to cry.

I wonder what should I make of what I heard … or of what I felt about it … or even what I would do if I wasn't so drunk …

The room didn't stay silent for long, though. If it was up to me and Elsa we would stay awkwardly looking at each other until the arrival of the sun's rays, not knowing what to say to each other, but Emma saved us from such a thing.

"No" such a dramatic tale brought upon her some apparent sobriety "that made the most sense to me"

Cathrine, the one who never let a tense situation go on for long, soon tried to ease the airs.

"Yeah … and believe me, you got off easy … Emma slapped me in the face when I kissed her for the first time" she jokes.

"Cat!" Emma sounds frustrated.

"Am I lying?" Cathrine raises a brow teasingly.

"N-no, but" Emma looks even redder than before "people might get the wrong idea if you simply leave it at that"

Though her attempts to ease the situation are welcomed it didn't seem to have worked very well since Elsa appears to still be lost in her thoughts.

"Well" Cathrine yawns "this was a fun day, but I'm exhausted".

"Yeah" Emmas says as she gets up yawning as well "good night you two".

Before long the couple leaves. I think I should go too. Before I get to make a decision, Elsa stands up and walks up to the window.

"you …" Elsa sighs as she calms herself "you should get some sleep".

"aren't you going to bed, as well?" I say as I also get up and start walking up to her.

Elsa shakes her head lightly.

If I was sober I'd probably go to sleep right now, but after what I heard and as my drunken status reaches its peak I decide otherwise.

It's just that … I see how hurt Elsa has been, but I never knew how to feel about what happened, let alone know what to do … so I would always step back. But I don't want Elsa to feel like this …

"Elsa …" I call her attention "Have we ever come here, to this place, when we were young? I mean, mom and dad would bring me here every year or so, but like, have we, you and me, ever come here … together?"

She positions her body towards me as she leans against the window. She serenely wipes her tears with her slender fingers before looking back at me.

"Yeah" she spends a second or two going over her memories, I guess "we'd cause quite a havoc, you and I" she smiles "That is until … that night … the night I struck you with my magic" her smile now gone "I came here very few times since then … only me mom and dad … they thought the space and fresh air would help me … but it never did" she slowly slides down and soon enough she is sitting on the floor.

I walk up to her and sit next to her … and I don't let any space between us.

"I'm so sorry" is the only thing I can conjure.

"Don't be" we stay silent for a few moments, only the cackle of the fire to be heard "Anna…" I look for her eyes but they are pointed ahead of her, focusing on no particular thing "can I ask you something?"

"Su-sure"

"How were they like? Mom and Dad … I mean, to you?"

"They were … fine I guess. I wouldn't see dad as much as you did. I mean, between taking care of you with minimum staff and taking care of the kingdom, there wasn't really that much time for me. I'd spend more time with mom. They wouldn't talk much about anything but they were nice. Why?"

"it's just that … sometimes I wonder what they might do or how they would react … in certain situations"

"You mean, queen stuff?"

"That as well"

"Hm … and how do you remember them?"

"After that night they started to feel more distant. I mean, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I would mostly see them, dad most of all, when they were schooling me … and also the physical contact was very limited to say the least ... it's just that the more time passed the more distant they felt. In the last few years it felt like I had seriously messed something up … but now I see they finally had the complete picture of the living breathing problem they had on their hands." Elsa's voice doesn't change that much … as if she had told herself that too many times it to affect her anymore.

"Don't be like that" my voice came out harsher than I thought it would, but still soaked in hurt.

"The only connection I had to my sanity was you, you know" a light smile almost dawns on her face, but there is still no eye contact "I'd always ask to see you and they would say 'soon'" she does quotation signs with her fingers "but soon never came. I guess some day dad had enough and from then on he would barely answer with a deep sigh. I'd also ask if you were okay. they would always say you were fine … though I could hear you begging to go outside … or see me. I always feared that, feared hurting you … but what I feared the most was the fact that I really, really" she emphasizes the last word before taking half a second to repeat it a final time "really wanted to see you … but I guess us wanting to see each other made me feel connected to you though … even if you had no idea … but I know it's stupid but …" silence once again.

"You wanna know what's stupid?" my question calls her attention, she motions with her head almost looking directly at me "I'd very often sleep on the floor"

"What?" in her want to know more she finally looked into my eyes and I can see they were watering up

"Yup" I give her a half smile holding back my tears "in front of your room".

"Why?" a look of confusion dawns on her.

"Mom and dad would fight a lot when they thought they were far enough from me so I wouldn't hear them. too bad they would talk so loud their plan wouldn't work. I couldn't distinguish what they said but I knew it wasn't good. So I'd grab my blanket and pillow, run to your door and sleep right in front of it, hoping I'd be awaken up by you opening it".

"Really?" she smiles, a real happy smile I haven't seen in a while.

"Yeah, and I'd spend the entire night thinking of the things we could do together, I'd even vocalize it sometimes".

"Oh so that's what why I heard you voice late at night?"

"Yeah, you weren't going crazy" Elsa even laughs a little "it was just a years long unintentional prank"

"Far from it. I'd sleep a thousand times better"

A not that uncomfortable silence sets in as we lose ourselves to out memories.

"You know" I ask, Elsa looks at me with a calm interest in her eyes "I just remembered one thing I wish we could do back then, one thing I thought we would get to do once we finally met after all those years in the ballroom in the day of your coronation".

"What?" Elsa sounds joyfully intrigued.

"Dance"

Elsa laughs as I stand up.

"Really?" Elsa asks.

"If you don't want to …" I say as I give her my hand so she can stand up easily.

"I can't conceal from you"

"Good"

We stand in front of each other with our hands' onto the other's, ungraciously and barely rotating our upper bodies as we quite slowly move around the room, but still we smile at each other and every so often we giggle for no reason. By this time the moon light is shining brighter than the fire behind us. And though we still keep a short distance between us our gazes are locked onto one another's.

But suddenly Elsa trips on the corner of the carpet. It's not a 'falling on her face' situation but she holds onto me, on my hips, for security. The distance between us now gone.

"Sorry" she says, I now being able to feel her cool breath on my skin as her voice comes out in a grave whisper.

"Don't be" I give her a trustful look.

She smiles briefly before looking down, but before she lowers her head I hold it up, placing my forehead against hers. This surprises her but my drunken reassuring look eases her mind.

I rest my arms on her shoulders and resume our 'dance'. We stay like this a little longer, that is until I feel Elsa's hands go up a bit, after that I see in Elsa's eyes that 'something else' I saw the day … she kissed me … followed by a sudden discomfort. That prompts my drunken mind to wonder around and my mouth took control of itself.

"I have something to ask you …"

"What would you like to know?" her look normalizes.

"What was your favorite thing to do when we came here as kids?"

"Well, here was the only place dad allowed me to use my powers properly, so we would play a lot until much later at night, but …"

"Buuuut …?" I insist.

"But …" Elsa's cheeks turn red "what I liked the most was us … sleeping together" I wasn't expecting that response, though I am oddly glad I had it "we would stay up late talking about nothing in particular, discussing the games we played that day or the ones we would play the next, making up stories about princesses and dragons, or anything like that. The only down part was that you would move a lot in your sleep" Elsa smiles teasingly.

"What? I would not!" she got me.

"Yes, you would" her smile disarms me.

"Okay, maybe I would. But I don't do it anymore"

"Well we have only slept together a few times since then, it's not like I could draw conclusions from such a small sample …"

A short silence ensues as we look down … that is until I look up to Elsa again.

"Would you … sleep with me tonight … Elsa?

Elsa gives be a beautiful smile … and love it.


End file.
